The Crowley-Lestrange-Lokison Cousins

HP×Marvel×Good Omens with a pinch of Norse myth.

Hermione Granger isn't rescued by a Knight in shining armour, like her books told of. Instead, she is found by a red haired, sunglass wearing demon and a blond, book loving angel.

Neville Longbottom doesn't bounce. Instead, he apparates accidentally to Azkaban, more precisely, Bellatrix Lestrange's cell. Turns out, she's actually innocent.

Harry Potter is not introduced to magic by a snake and a half giant. Instead, he meets a tall, green eyed, black haired god.

This works out better for pretty much all concerned, apart from Moldyshorts and his Coffin Crunchers.