𝑅𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑀𝑒

She cannot remember but he can.
she remembers none of it , but he remember all of it .
She migth have forgotten him but he never has.
he swore his life to her , and he plans on fulfilling his promise.

I can't remember my life before the sharp screams and cries of people calling for help , every time I try to recall my childhood I come out empty handed , my brain a canvas painted in red , with nothing on it but the image of my dad's lifeless body laying down on the cold tiles of the hospital ,crimson seeping out of his wounds , his green eyes begging me to go , to run away .every time I push myself to exhaustion trying to remember what happened afterwards who helped me , who hid me away from the shooter , who saved me and not my dad , I want to scream at them to tell them that they should've gotten him and not me , that he was worth saving and I was not , he was a great man with ambitions and I am a broken girl who can't get passed her father's death , a pathetic girl who cries herself to sleep behind closed doors , how could I move on when I haven't gotten passed that day because I can't recall any of it ; some people would say that it's a blessing but it's quite the opposite , the guilt of forgetting is worse than anything , the feeling of being in the dark ships at my heart every time I open my eyes in the mornings , when I think about that day or at least the remainer of it all , I always come up with on conclusion , he should've lived and I should've died