Play Pretend

While I've got you, and while we're alone ... can I share something with you? You know, man-to-reader? OK, fab.

I am slowly becoming a girl. Yeah. Really.

See, that girl you heard about just before my boring ass started chundering away about showers and carpets like a dodgy salesman, she's in my head. She has been for a really long time. Maybe soon, I'll go deeper into that. I hope that's put your minds at ease in an odd way - now you'll know why I dream from the perspective of a girl less than half my age.

So, show of hands, how many of you have questions? One, two, thr ... yeah, I had a feeling it would be like this. I can't answer them right now, but I promise you will know me soon enough. Besides ... I'm counting on you for something.

You, dear invisible reader, are going to play the role of my brain. I'm going to scribble down every thought, event and experience I have. You're going to be the way I no longer have to live life trapped in my own head 24/7. And eventually ... soon, you will be the reason I stop pretending. This is a promise I am making to myself, and you are all going to be witness. 2025 is the year I stop playing pretend.