Jokes, Comebacks and Insults - rachel132 - Wattpad

Jokes, Comebacks and Insults

Reads 360,512
Votes 8,620
Parts 81
Time 8m

Reads 360,512
Votes 8,620
Parts 81
Time 8m

comebacks comedy everyday funny humor insults jokes lines pickup pickuplines uses

Have you ever been in a insulting fight with someone, but you end up not having a insult to use or a comeback to use? Well, you'll need to read this book.
This book has a bunch of: 
Jokes 
Insults 
Comebacks 
Pick Up Lines
Racist Jokes
Sometimes theory's 

Warning: some of these jokes, insults, and comebacks may be offensive to some people so if you are easily butt hurt I don't suggest you read this.

Mostly insults and comebacks. Post are published daily, if not means I'm busy or to lazy to writeAll Rights Reserved

comebacks comedy everyday funny humor insults jokes lines pickup pickuplines uses

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81 parts

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... by monica23031

How to catch a cheater by blu-water

Seeing your partner the one you love and they're fucking another. Having them embarrass you while your being faithful. Pain. That's all you feel is pain and heartbreak. Well, catching a cheater will make my pain go away. ••• "I don't know what's worse; that you cheated on me, or that you cheated on me with a really ugly woman." "Babe I'm sorry I didn't mean to do it." "You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt me, but somehow that still didn't stop you!" ••• Revenge is such a sweet bitch!!

You Are in Hell Boys ✔ by Nadineat2

[Book 2] Imagine this ~ You are walking down the street, holding a bag full of Oreos for your pregnant mom. Everything is peaceful until you are dragged into an old truck. You look up and see five good-looking guys staring at you. Remi Thea McKnight is a sixteen-year-old high school girl. She is sarcastic, funny, and sometimes wise, like her mother, Ariel. Remi has four older brothers, eighteen years old, and a quadruplet. Could history repeat itself? What would Remi do when she gets kidnapped like her mother? ~~~ [NOT EDITED YET] Book 1 - Welcome To Hell Boys. Book 2 - You are in Hell Boys. Book 3 - We'll End Up in Hell Boys. (Highest rank- #3 in Humor in 2017) June 2017 All Rights Reserved

Sketched Hearts ✔️ by hiyaitschristine

You're given 0.7 seconds to decide what to do when the most popular boy waltzes up to you and starts throwing pick up lines at you. What would you choose? a) Slap him b) Throw a sarcastic remark at him c) Walk away If you were like those daring sarcastic female leads in most novels then you'd likely choose either a) or b), but shy senior high schooler Iris Martin chose c) walk away. Then her life somewhat resembled baking a cake. Add in a pinch of arrogance from the bad boy, a teaspoon of cheer from his girlfriend and an overfilled cup of persistence from a new student who was her cousin's fiancé's brother's best friend and the cake will be ready to explode in the oven. ~~~ Cover by @-wanderes {edited} {completed}

Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing] by bellamy-blake

She smiled. “We should probably work on what we came here for.” “Good idea. Whoa, since when do you have good ideas?” I teased. “Chaste, the day you have a good idea will be the day Spongebob gets his license‒never.” ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ Madeline Schultz comes from a dirt-poor family, and has to work hard at SEVERAL jobs. At school she remains somewhat known, but doesn't tell anybody about her situation at home, not wanting to be treated differently. Flynn Chaste is filthy rich. Popular, captain of the quidditch‒okay, soccer‒team. He's the kind of guy who likes to mess around and have fun (and by fun I mean pick up girls). He needs a good, hardworking girl to give him a reality check. A girl who can match his major level of sarcasm. That girl? You've probably already figured out by now. © 2014, Kaylee. All Rights Reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. [cover by worldgirlalwaysxx] Just going to warn you, that this is an extremely rough draft and something that I am not very proud of. The story line is okay, but there are some plot holes and the writing is just overall 'eh'. So read at your own risk!

Childhood Sweethearts by LaurenJ22

#1 Teen Fiction | #1 Young Adult | #1 Romance "We all need someone to drive us mad." - The Wombats. He stared arrogantly down at me, a smirk plastered across his face. I sneered up at him with distaste, wanting to wrap my fingers around his neck and strangle that smirk off of him. He brushed my golden hair from my face, his long, slender fingers sparking electricity in my skin, making my knees wobble together. "Will you ever, forgive me?" he whispered huskily, his eyes intently staring into mine. His face was only mere inches from me. I just needed to reach out a little further to kiss him... "Yeah. Over my dead body." I snapped, before throwing my arms out forcefully, shoving my hands into his chest, pushing him from me. -*-*-*- He, is Carter Williams. I, am Lacey Adams. We were once, inseparable. The 'Golden Couple'. The unbreakable best friends, that everybody envied. Nothing could get between us. A part from being tighter than white on rice, we updated our status from friends to being in a relationship, frequently. We were neighbours, which meant our families were all close and even co-owned houses around our town. This, all is, until the day of my sixteenth birthday. Everything changed. The loving relationship we shared, was severed and torn apart. I couldn't hardly stand to look at him any more, without spitting fire that is. Every day is torture being around him. He was in all my classes at school and the window in my room was even directly aligned with his. So, what happens? My mother's mum gets sick, so dad and her fly out. Just them. Leaving me to stay with Carter and his parents, who are never home. We would be alone. In one house. Under the same roof. If I was insane before, I have no idea what I am now. © 2016 by LaurenJ22. All rights reserved.

Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ by Nikithasuz123

(Editing) His eyes widen and his lips part in pain as he stares wordlessly at me and then at the large blotch that forms around his chest . He clutches it as he coughs in pain. I didn't get to push him into a sewer, but this feels so much better. I sardonically chuckle to myself before leaning in to whisper into his ear. "Gotcha." - - - I was a nobody . A big fat wallflower that was always in the background. The only mistake I made was confessing to the school's prince. That day I was completely and utterly humiliated. It's been two years and now I'm back. Back for some sweet revenge. #Winner of the Pre-Watty awards for best laugh worthy book. *Filled with humor and jokes that can't stop you from chuckling ;) # 1 ranking in Stop bullying (10/5/18) #11 In Humor (1/6/18) ©Nikithasuz123 Cover credits to unreadymage. Amazing cover XD

Our Chemistry || ✔️ by TheRealLorraineMoore

Who knew that love could blossom in Chemistry class? When Harper and Alec engage in a mega pickup line battle, what would this little flirting lead to? Read OUR CHEMISTRY to discover the cute incidents of an ordinary teenage couple! *** "Do you like sleeping?" He said. I nodded. "Me too! We should do it together sometime." He smirked, challenging me to say a better pickup line. When I didn't say anything he laughed. "Are you a scientist? Cause I would do you on a table, periodically." He whispered in my ear, his deep voice vibrating in my mind. I blushed. I shook my head and looked at him. Rolling my eyes ever so slightly and smiling seductively while flicking his nose, I said, "Gosh, You have such a dirty mind." He blushed for a moment at the sudden touch on his nose, but the smirk eventually came back. "I don't have a dirty mind, sweetheart. I just got a sexy imagination." *** Reviews: "It's really cute for a short story... I'm impressed there are no grammatical mistakes...Nice ;)" By @pattachan, a beautiful person! "Hey! I thought your story was short and sweet and entertaining! 😀 I enjoyed it!" By @spratelymac, whose books I've come to adore. *** Read this story, and don't forget to VOTE!!❤️ Completed ✔️ Kinda immature but bear with me! I was a kid with no idea what love is, when I wrote this😂 Warnings ⚠︎ A little swearing but no larger mature themes All rights reserved Copyright©2018 Lorraine Moore

Perfect Storm by RainyVenus_

___________________________ "You were mine the second you put your signature on that contract." He looked at me with pure lust and dominance in his eyes. "F*ck you." He smirks and moves closer to me, coming to my side of the booth and caging me against the window. "I'll give you what you want if you do." "And what do I want?" I question, holding eye contact. "My head between your legs." ❀❀❀ "Dating or not... you're still mine." Astoria always thought that the world was set up a certain way. That way being two levels of living. There were the rich people, and then there were the people who could barely afford a pack of ramen noodles. Obviously she was the ladder. She always hated the rich people she would see around the city. They had more money than they needed and didn't think to help the lower people. She was always alone. Her mother died when giving birth to her and her father gave her to her grandmother who died of old age before she could turn 3. She was orphaned and in foster homes her whole life, being alone was all she knew. On top of that her job as an exotic dancer barley covered her bills and she was late 3 months in payment. What was left for her? She had nothing. Until one of the club Clients offers her a deal that may change her life... Read Perfect Storm to find out how this predicament takes place... ❀❀❀ Ratings: #1 Contract - 8|13|2023

Till Death Take Us A Part by shikagupta170

Count you bitch, smack smack smack smack . Ahhhhhhhhhh It's been an hour since we get married. He dragged me to his bedroom while pulling my hair. Sir please don't hit me. It's too painful. I can't take it anymore. Ahhhhhhhhhh Will you count or shall I start again. It's been an hour he is whipping me with his belt. And he finished his beating and puts back his waist belt. Now shut your fucking mouth and sign these divorce papers. And you need to stay here for six months. And you will get a punishment daily for six months which you never ever dreamed. And you will get fucked where ever I see you. You need to follow my rules in my house. If you ever not followed these ten rules. I will give you a punishment with my belt. It can be any minute mistake. Get ready you bitch. He kicked me with his shoe once again and left the place. I'm lyra 22 years, and this is my story like everyone I too have a dream of marrying the most caring person, but my destiny have another thoughts landed in a wrong marriage behalf of my sister. And landed in a relationship where my husband speaks through his belt for my mistakes. And read it further how she landed in her sister marriage as a bride. Is she done it intentionally ? Will she get survive for those cruel punishments. Or did she turned so strong to destroy him for his misdeeds. Read it further to know this amazing story. Where you will never get disappointed. Please it will be so great if you comment on story. # 1 in beating # 8 in belt # 6 in strong content # 10 in cruel Warning - it's a matured content. And it is fictional.

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Slide 1 of 10

How to catch a cheater cover

You Are in Hell Boys ✔ cover

Sketched Hearts ✔️ cover

Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing] cover

Childhood Sweethearts cover

Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ cover

Our Chemistry || ✔️ cover

Perfect Storm cover

Till Death Take Us A Part cover

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