Story cover for If only I knew then // phan by DisciplinedAliens
If only I knew then // phan
  • Reads 4,083
  • Votes 114
  • Parts 19
  • Time 1h 1m
  • Reads 4,083
  • Votes 114
  • Parts 19
  • Time 1h 1m
Complete, First published Aug 27, 2015
Dan is a classic badass tattoos piercings the deal. His parents aren't ashamed of him but aren't proud. Phil on the other hand is a nerd, video games, computers, extremely brutally beaten at school and home the deal. His parents are ashamed of him and let him know that everyday, they are ashamed because he's gay.  Dan was the main bully of Phil, never hit him, he name called and the occasional shove, or putting his foot in front of him so he tripped. Dan wasn't proud, he hated what he did to Phil. He hated himself for what he did to Phil, because he always had to hear him cry. And plead for it to end.






Hey story is in first person of Dan/Phil. 


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Depression//Phan by bluetroyee
19 parts Complete Mature
(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!) Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep. He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them? What did he do to deserve any of this?? His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew. But one day, would people push him over his limit? Would Dan be able to save him in time? © 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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CONTAINS SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION Dan: the anti social kid at the back of the class , dressed in black lost in his own world . He has no friends , no family and he liked it that way . He had secrets , ones that he could never share unless psychiatric hospital sound good to you . Phil : the over enthusiastic new kid that's smiling though his pain . The boy that lost everything yet still fakes his smile . He looks like the sun yet feels like the dark sky yet know one will ever know . Phil doesn't have secrets but he has another person within himself , the true Phil , the one that wants to put a bullet in his head and die like the rest of his family seems to do yet this Phil is hidden under a mask of bright clothes and smiles . When Dan and Phil meet at the back of a class right in the very corner dans appearance reminds him of his true self , Phil reminds Dan about the old him the one before he lost hope . Dan hates Phil he's to happy and it sickens Dan . Phil is intrigued by Dan he's to mysterious and Phil loves it . They both have secrets and they both have issues . Will they end up bonding or colliding ?