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    Illegal My Ass
    Illegal My Ass
    makeandoffer
    • Reads
      Reads 34,331,832
      34,331,83234.3M
    • Votes
      Votes 836,991
      836,991836K
    • Parts
      Parts 52
      5252
    • Time
      Time 16h 58m
      16 hours, 58 minutes16h 58m
    Start reading
    • Reads
      Reads 34,331,832
      34,331,83234.3M
    • Votes
      Votes 836,991
      836,991836K
    • Parts
      Parts 52
      5252
    • Time
      Time 16h 58m
      16 hours, 58 minutes16h 58m
    makeandoffer
    Complete
    Complete, First published Jun 21, 2012
    Mature
    Mia Hastings was never one to follow the rules. 
        
        Her brother knew it, her best friend knew it. Everyone knew it. She lives for the moment, doing whatever she feels and thinking of the consequences later. Her main goal in life is to live it.
        
        Mia’s brother’s best friend Drake O’Connell was never big on rules.
        
        The judge who sentences him to 2 years in prison knew it.  He is known for being the badboy, partying and womanising. His charm, good looks and obnoxious behaviour made his life pretty easy and his main goal in it was to have fun. He had lost 2 years of his life locked up, so he was determined to make up for lost time.
        
        So when these two people are thrown together, both without a care in the world, issues of their own and more secrets than an episode of Pretty Little Liars, you can expect a story full of laughs, tears, arguments and felonies.
        
        They might be breaking the law, but both Mia and Drake are about to find out that when it feels wrong, it is ALWAYS more fun.
        
        ©makeandoffer
    All Rights Reserved
    • alcohol
    • bestfriends
    • brothersbestfriend
    • crime
    • drama
    • family
    • funny
    • hate
    • humor
    • humour
    • jokes
    • lies
    • love
    • party
    • prison
    • relationships
    • secrets
    alcoholbestfriendsbrothersbestfriendcrimedramafamilyfunnyhatehumorhumourjokeslieslovepartyprisonrelationshipssecrets
    Table of contentsLast updated Mar 04, 2013
    • Illegal My Ass
    • Chapter 2- 'Your hands are exploring more than Dora.'
    • Chapter 3-'And why exactly did you beat down Crocodile Dundee over there?'
    • Chapter 4- 'You'll thank me when you wake up without herpes.'
    • Chapter 5- 'Dude, you actually have a mangina.'
    • Chapter 6- 'There is no finer art than pornography.'
    • Chapter 7- 'What are you talking about? I could so get laid in prison'
    • Chapter 8- 'You spoon raped me Hastings.'
    • Chapter 9-' You did NOT have sex in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.'
    • Chapter 10- 'And by it, I mean my metaphorical penis.'
    • Chapter 11- 'I'd rather shove Harry Potters wand up my ass.'
    • Chapter 12- 'Well done Mia, you beat the crap out of an old guy.'
    • Chapter 13- 'I'm not touching it Drake.'
    • Chapter 14- 'Oh nothing really, just making your grandchildren.'
    • Chapter 15- 'Be ready with the camera as soon as we hear trousers unzip.'
    • Chapter 16- Every man has a zombie plan.
    • Chapter 17- 'Isn't it my job to get you wet?'
    • Chapter 18- 'We drink like immortals.'
    • Chapter 19- 'Prisons changed you man.'
    • Chapter 20- 'Spooning always leads to forking.'
    • Chapter 21- 'All it takes is a bag of cheese balls to say I love you.'
    • Chapter 22- 'That was uncalled for...you pool table whore.'
    • Chapter 23- 'Shut up or I will never touch you again.'
    • Chapter 24- 'He's sat on a toilet, high & singing the Family Guy theme tune.'
    • Chapter 25- 'It was like we were possessed...By two really horny ghosts.'
    • Chapter 26- 'I don't want my family to think I prefer sausage to sea food.'
    • Chapter 27- 'You're right. It's not a date. It's a freaking Marriage.'
    • Chapter 28- 'And by elephant, I meant his massive hard on.'
    • Chapter 29- 'I didn't punch him in the throat. I think that went well.'
    • Chapter 30- 'Hold on, I forgot my sombrero.'
    • Chapter 31- 'Drake, did we make babies last night?'
    • Chapter 32- 'We full on had a Jerry Springer moment in the middle of a bar.'
    • Chapter 33- 'Probably commandment number one of the hoe bible.'
    • Chapter 34- 'You taste like sunshine...and beer.'
    • Chapter 35- 'My brain shut off and my penis took the wheel.'
    • Chapter 36- 'This is the effect O'Connell penis has on a girl.'
    • Chapter 37- 'We were screwed. And not in the good way.'
    • Chapter 38- 'We were more public than a Kardashian.'
    • Chapter 39- ' You're rocking the walk of shame uniform.'
    • Chapter 40- 'You're thinking about my penis aren't you?'
    • Chapter 41- 'We stole a parrot & tried to teach it how to sing Bump N Grind'
    • Chapter 42- 'He tried and failed like the Twilight Films.'
    • Chapter 43- 'Stop avoiding the question you giant Dildo!'
    • Chapter 44- 'I'm like the Superman of the boner world.'
    • Chapter 45- 'Try to stall him without taking your clothes off.'
    • Chapter 46- 'I'm like a butcher, I enjoy showing everyone my meat.'
    • Chapter 47- 'Every compliment is expected to be repaid in blowjobs.'
    • Chapter 48- 'You need to see the size of him. He was like a Fridge.'
    • Chapter 49- 'Unwillingly, I decided to stop threatening the Hospital staff.'
    • Chapter 50- 'I was like James Bond, but with a vagina.'
    • Chapter 51- 'I didn't say I knew how to pick them.'
    • EPILOGUE

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    • Illegal My Ass
    • Chapter 2- 'Your hands are exploring more than Dora.'
    • Chapter 3-'And why exactly did you beat down Crocodile Dundee over there?'
    • Chapter 4- 'You'll thank me when you wake up without herpes.'
    • Chapter 5- 'Dude, you actually have a mangina.'
    • Chapter 6- 'There is no finer art than pornography.'
    • Chapter 7- 'What are you talking about? I could so get laid in prison'
    • Chapter 8- 'You spoon raped me Hastings.'
    • Chapter 9-' You did NOT have sex in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.'
    • Chapter 10- 'And by it, I mean my metaphorical penis.'
    • Chapter 11- 'I'd rather shove Harry Potters wand up my ass.'
    • Chapter 12- 'Well done Mia, you beat the crap out of an old guy.'
    • Chapter 13- 'I'm not touching it Drake.'
    • Chapter 14- 'Oh nothing really, just making your grandchildren.'
    • Chapter 15- 'Be ready with the camera as soon as we hear trousers unzip.'
    • Chapter 16- Every man has a zombie plan.
    • Chapter 17- 'Isn't it my job to get you wet?'
    • Chapter 18- 'We drink like immortals.'
    • Chapter 19- 'Prisons changed you man.'
    • Chapter 20- 'Spooning always leads to forking.'
    • Chapter 21- 'All it takes is a bag of cheese balls to say I love you.'
    • Chapter 22- 'That was uncalled for...you pool table whore.'
    • Chapter 23- 'Shut up or I will never touch you again.'
    • Chapter 24- 'He's sat on a toilet, high & singing the Family Guy theme tune.'
    • Chapter 25- 'It was like we were possessed...By two really horny ghosts.'
    • Chapter 26- 'I don't want my family to think I prefer sausage to sea food.'
    • Chapter 27- 'You're right. It's not a date. It's a freaking Marriage.'
    • Chapter 28- 'And by elephant, I meant his massive hard on.'
    • Chapter 29- 'I didn't punch him in the throat. I think that went well.'
    • Chapter 30- 'Hold on, I forgot my sombrero.'
    • Chapter 31- 'Drake, did we make babies last night?'
    • Chapter 32- 'We full on had a Jerry Springer moment in the middle of a bar.'
    • Chapter 33- 'Probably commandment number one of the hoe bible.'
    • Chapter 34- 'You taste like sunshine...and beer.'
    • Chapter 35- 'My brain shut off and my penis took the wheel.'
    • Chapter 36- 'This is the effect O'Connell penis has on a girl.'
    • Chapter 37- 'We were screwed. And not in the good way.'
    • Chapter 38- 'We were more public than a Kardashian.'
    • Chapter 39- ' You're rocking the walk of shame uniform.'
    • Chapter 40- 'You're thinking about my penis aren't you?'
    • Chapter 41- 'We stole a parrot & tried to teach it how to sing Bump N Grind'
    • Chapter 42- 'He tried and failed like the Twilight Films.'
    • Chapter 43- 'Stop avoiding the question you giant Dildo!'
    • Chapter 44- 'I'm like the Superman of the boner world.'
    • Chapter 45- 'Try to stall him without taking your clothes off.'
    • Chapter 46- 'I'm like a butcher, I enjoy showing everyone my meat.'
    • Chapter 47- 'Every compliment is expected to be repaid in blowjobs.'
    • Chapter 48- 'You need to see the size of him. He was like a Fridge.'
    • Chapter 49- 'Unwillingly, I decided to stop threatening the Hospital staff.'
    • Chapter 50- 'I was like James Bond, but with a vagina.'
    • Chapter 51- 'I didn't say I knew how to pick them.'
    • EPILOGUE
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