this message may be offensive
I'm in love with him and he's in love with me. But the world is cruel to us and says that it just isn't mean't to be, leaving us both heart broken and over life. I see no other option for us both other than death. My defeated and tired heart says yes and yearns for death, but my head says no and to carry on and suffer through. I feel nothing on good days, but I mostly just feel like shit. Looking for distractions in the wrong places I find people who just care about their sexual desires and just want to die more. I know he's suffering more than me. I want to help him and say screw it, but his work keeps him far too busy and away from time for himself, making him depressed and with nothing good to come back to anymore. I truly feel we are meant to be together but outside forces make it almost impossible. I extremely hate that I am out here typing such sappy and cringy "poetic" driven type words on this god forsaken app; but I'm at such a low point right now that I don't even care anymore. I don't even care if anyone does or does not see this. I'm 18 years old, I don't need to care anymore. I need to cope. I love you Rik. Ricardo my real one true love and absolute best friend. I'm glad you will never read this since it's so damn cringy... I hope one day we may be together again. I hope one day I can hopefully not come back here and laugh at this.. not because I've moved on, if I ever can, but because it's so awful, and not be embarrassed by it. I love you and I will never forget what we had. You were the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. I hope this letter to myself never comes back to bite me. This world is hard and life is tragic and I hate it all. You're the light in my life and I will never let you go. You have lifted me up like no other, you made my world worth living. I wish the world was kinder to us and we really were able to get married and have all of those seven kids that all have your beautiful black curly hair... that would have been wonderful<3