Mariah

I'm tired. I'm tired of trying. Of hiding. Of pretending. 

I open up, only to be forced close again because my pain is a bother. A burden. A hindrance to everyone's happiness. 

Yet they wonder why I pull away? Why I hide  in the shadows burying myself deep within the world of make believe, or fantasy, of unrealistic expectations and dreams.

I wonder if I'm deserving of happiness. Of peace. Of an unquestionable infatuation with someone who feels just as strongly about me as I do of them. 

Yet when I do it my all, 1000% plus some, they take it all for granted. And they use me. Abuse me. They tell me communicate so I can help you better, but when I do what they ask I'm dramatic and blowing things out of proportion. Exaggerating. Lying. Faking...

But that's okay. Because if you're happy, I'm happy. I'll swallow my pain, my trauma, my burdens, just so you can live carefree. Even if it kills me.