MaK 🍐

Today was wild. It got better when I was at the store with my family and three guys walked past as we were heading to the check out. One made my heart skip a beat and my breath still, he was so handsome. And looked a little bit like Namjoon...then as he's walking past her my sister turns and looks at me and says "hey look there's your type!" That was the highlight of my night. 

Why do people keep assuming I'm high when I say something that is relevant and actually real? I'm not making stuff up here just for kicks, if I were you'd know!! AND I am one of the rarities that cannot function or handle being high without getting!! Why is this my life? Why, WHYYYYY are people like this...

What in the hell is a vision board and how does one make it? I seem to have lost what I want for my future so this seems a little insulting and stressful I'm trying not to cry in class because I don't know how to make one. 

I think I share my brain cells or the singular most important brain cell with someone...but I don't know who that would be. But whomever it is I would like the fucking brain cell back. Please and thank you because I have a fuck ton of homework to accomplish before Spring is 2026 arrives.

Is there a human who is not busy or overwhelmed with their own life that I can ask for help? Bonus if you're into psychology or dream analysis... I need some help processing something. 

I LOST MY JOB TODAY!! AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER!! 
          
          I LOST MYSELF SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY TRYING TO MAKE SURE I KEPT THAT JOB AND DID MY BEST.
          
          WHENEVER I LOOK IN THE MIRROR I HAVE NO CLUE WHO I AM LOOKING AT
          
          MY MENTAL HEALTH DECLINED HORRIBLY OVER THE LAST 4 YEARS TOO?! NAAAAAAAH I AM GOOD AND DONE. 
          
          Let's find some place else to work that is filled with amazing people and is just better all around. 
          
          While the last job was filled with knowledge and helped me learn many things it's time to find something new. 
          
          I am excited!!

Guys!!! Go check this out. It's the author's first book and I know them personally so please show them love for their first attempt at writing, it's good so far and only gonna get better. That's all hope every one has a good day and the author says thank you!
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/348381739

Does my happiness really matter? Do my problems, issues, feelings, insecurities, worries, doubts... existence even....does it really matter?

I'm excited and he's just too cute and I wanna show him to the world so lil story time!!! 
          
          My boyfriend and I went to the zoo yesterday and he bought me a cute little stuffed animal, a blue octopus and told me to keep him safe and that I should name him. 
          
          I'm going to post a picture of him in my book because it's better that way. 
          
          I love Pirates of the Caribbean. Jack Sparrow is amazing and hilarious and relatable in many many ways. So I've dubbed my little octopus Captain Jack Squiggles. 

So uhm conundrum...problem...issue...
          
          
          There's this coworker who is leaving soon and he and I don't date coworkers. 
          
          Buuuuut everyone and I mean every single other employee seems to think we either are or should be dating and several are friggin shipping it.  
          
          He and I have matched once before years ago on a dating app and last month he popped up as a higher compatibility match on this other app I was using like high too (93% as in 93% chance of being together for awhile and working out). I told him where I knew him from at work after he popped up again and everyone joked about it would make comments to him anyways, I just found out they all ship it!!! Of course this was after I maimed his wrist a little bit, I dug my fingernails in and pulled while fighting over a stupid lighter...it's healed, he holds it over my head but eh whatever.
          
          
          And I actually do like him he is older than I am but we just kinda click??? Oddly enough we like  a fair amount of things. And our conversations the last 3 days we've worked together have been dorky and random and comfortable as well as childish at the same time if it makes sense.
          
          
          I told him to grow a pair and ask me out on a date already yesterday and he reminded me of the rule we share to which i pointed out thaaat he is leaving in seven (7) days and he should ask me out that last day he then laughed and said it's 2023 you could be asking me out and this is where my issue, conundrum, problem lies:
          
          I've always been the one to ask a guy out, or plan the date or suggest we do something. 
          
          I want a guy to ask me because the first one who does I will dead ass say yes. But do I tell this man why I won't ask him?? Or just let it be and wonder what could've been?!?!