Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the Day of the Vow.
"Now, what is that?" I hear some of you asking.
Well, here's a little story from my people's history:
On the 16th of December 1838, in what is now KwaZulu-Natal Province in South Africa, a great battle took place between less than 400 Christian Voortrekkers and between fifteen- and thirty-thousand Zulu impis, along what thereafter came to be known as Blood River (Ncome in Zulu, Bloedrivier in Afrikaans) because of how red its waters became as a result of the one-sided casualties - hence the event is known as the Battle of Blood River. Pretty badass, right?
Hopelessly outnumbered, and armed with little more than a couple single-shot rifles, the Christians gathered together in a group prayer led by the devout preacher C.A. Cilliers, and vowed that, if He rescued them out of the hands of the great many Zulu warriors they were facing, they would build a church as a monument to the victory He would bestow unto them, and honour that date and day every year amongst themselves and their posterity as a Sabbath day in remembrance of His favour.
And lo and behold, only three Christians suffered mild injuries while, somehow, thousands of impis were decimated before the mightier force fled - and their king Dingane the Usurper was assassinated by those who sought better for their people than his tyranny, allowing for the Christian faith to spread freely amongst the Zulu people.
Today we salute those brave pioneers, and honour our God.
"But why was the battle fought?" I hear you asking. "Weren't these Christians evil white colonialists?"
Nope. Evil is when you murder hundreds of defenseless women, children and old men in cold blood just for existing and passing through your territory. Evil is when you slaughter all your brothers in cold blood save the one you think too pathetic to be a threat to your tyranny over your own people.
And the whole reason the Boers were out there was to *escape* the reach of colonialism, so...