TaniaMckenzie

Greetings! I know, I've been gone for a really long time, nearly a year actually. But I'm hoping to return this winter at some capacity. 
          	
          	My life has been utter chaos, but God has done some really great things. I met the love of my life and am now engaged! 
          	
          	My fiance is a man of God, the gentlest, kindest, most generous, sweet man I've ever known. He's the only person in the world who makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore. 
          	
          	Also I uncovered a whole new chapter if childhood trauma my mind blocked out, which I'll explain in my book 'what happened to me'. 
          	
          	I'd also like to ask for prayer as my fiance and I are facing some legal issues right now due to false allegations against him, allegations which if he is convicted, would carry prison time. 
          	
          	Please please pray, it could turn into a very bad situation so easily. 
          	
          	Thanks, and God bless

TaniaMckenzie

@Daimyen thanks for the advice, I know he wouldn't do that. Also I know who is making the accusations, and have known them all my life. I also know several others that this person has gone after in the same way, so there's a lot of evidence (though courts would see it as circumstancial) to support his story. 
          	  
          	  Fair enough, I appreciate your decency :)
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Daimyen

Just be careful if he starts asking you to take out a loan etc. for legal expenses. Maybe you’re lucky and this in an exception to the rule and actually a genuine case, but that sounds like a textbook example of a dating fraud. Too-good-to-be-true man being falsely accused with very bad consequences and desperately needs your financial help.
          	  
          	  I still don’t like your attitude towards LGBTQ people, but nobody deserves to be scammed into debt hell for the rest of their life.
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Mystical_Stays_Based

@TaniaMckenzie Hopefully things go well for him and for you too
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Mystical_Stays_Based

I respect you so much - from Mystical the anti-lgbtq based person

Mystical_Stays_Based

@TaniaMckenzie lmfao thanks
            Also mood honestly I have been pretty good. ive been getting drunk and trolling
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TaniaMckenzie

@Mystical_Stays_Based that reaction made me laugh lol
            Yeah I'm still alive, just been pretty busy. Trying to keep up with relationships, my greenhouse, and the soon-to-be-mine business I work for. What've you been up to?
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TaniaMckenzie

Greetings! I know, I've been gone for a really long time, nearly a year actually. But I'm hoping to return this winter at some capacity. 
          
          My life has been utter chaos, but God has done some really great things. I met the love of my life and am now engaged! 
          
          My fiance is a man of God, the gentlest, kindest, most generous, sweet man I've ever known. He's the only person in the world who makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore. 
          
          Also I uncovered a whole new chapter if childhood trauma my mind blocked out, which I'll explain in my book 'what happened to me'. 
          
          I'd also like to ask for prayer as my fiance and I are facing some legal issues right now due to false allegations against him, allegations which if he is convicted, would carry prison time. 
          
          Please please pray, it could turn into a very bad situation so easily. 
          
          Thanks, and God bless

TaniaMckenzie

@Daimyen thanks for the advice, I know he wouldn't do that. Also I know who is making the accusations, and have known them all my life. I also know several others that this person has gone after in the same way, so there's a lot of evidence (though courts would see it as circumstancial) to support his story. 
            
            Fair enough, I appreciate your decency :)
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Daimyen

Just be careful if he starts asking you to take out a loan etc. for legal expenses. Maybe you’re lucky and this in an exception to the rule and actually a genuine case, but that sounds like a textbook example of a dating fraud. Too-good-to-be-true man being falsely accused with very bad consequences and desperately needs your financial help.
            
            I still don’t like your attitude towards LGBTQ people, but nobody deserves to be scammed into debt hell for the rest of their life.
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Mystical_Stays_Based

@TaniaMckenzie Hopefully things go well for him and for you too
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ElishebaIshaya

Hi  I read your profile and I have to say your totally amazing. It takes a lot to oppose things that the majority support. Your totally christian and cool if I do say so myself. 
          Looking forward to chatting with you in future dear

TaniaMckenzie

@ElishebaIshaya 
            Awe, thanks! And it's nice to meet you! I haven't been online for a long time but figured I'd check in today :)
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TaniaMckenzie

Update on my life: Think I've found my future husband.
          
          I met the most wonderful man I've ever known 3 and a half months ago, and he's treated me like a queen. Before asking me out, he asked God's permission because I'm God's daughter. 
          
          I've been learning so much about what marriage looks like, and what a godly relationship looks like these past couple of months. 
          
          I've spent most of my life isolated from people as a result of the abuse I experienced. I have a fear of intimacy, and live with C-PTSD. But I have found someone who is patient, gentle, and willing to do whatever it takes to take care of me. 
          
          I'll never forget the first time I opened up about my struggles with ptsd to him. He literally waited quietly for 45 minutes while I wrestled with whether or not to tell him what was on my mind. Guys, that is a very long time to sit in silence. But he did it with a patient smile. 
          
          That's what love does. 
          
          Peace y'all, and to all the single ladies out there, hang on. God's got a plan, but it'll only make sense when it comes to pass. Until then, God bless!

TaniaMckenzie

@AuggieGreen 
            Don't worry, we only got engaged after a year of knowing each other. And we've now been engaged for 4 months 
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HipBeeWitch

@alliepavelek I dunno. In The Bible, people used to marry off their daughters (who've JUST gotten their periods) to 20+ year-old men. So Nominals doing things like marrying someone after 3 months is not that odd.
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BlessingStardust

@TaniaMckenzie aww man I can't believe I missed this T-T
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TaniaMckenzie

To the person who has a friend with abandoned issues; the one you think of leaving because it feels like they're suffocating you...
          
          I know you didn't ask for this. I know you feel like you're up to your neck and the only way out is cutting someone out of your life that you care about. 
          
          I feel it too. I never asked for this. And I'm drowning. But unlike you, I cannot cut it out of my life.
          
          My fear is slowly strangling me, driving me to run away from it all; to give up and curl up to live the rest of my days alone. Because that would be better than the pain that comes from losing someone I care about. 
          
          But being alone is painful too, and I know that the only way to overcome it all is to do the unthinkable: to try to open up to someone, and trust them to stay. 
          
          So I try. But my fear is drowning you too. I can't do that to you, but you've told me you wouldn't be driven away by it, so I choose to let you stay. 
          
          Now I see you backing away, realizing the enormity of what that meant. I know you're leaving, and so the fear builds more and more; a demon determined to drive you away. And I can't stop it. 
          
          So I watch, panicking inside, but refusing to leave because you promised you wouldn't. 
          
          Then you break your promise. You left. Just as I feared all along. My fear was right, and you lied. 
          
          Sincerely, 
          The soul of those who've been abandoned
          
          PLEASE NOTE: this is written from the perspective of someone with abandoned issues, and has some twisted logic. This is meant solely to help others understand the other side, not to say that all of the other side's feelings are right. And they usually know when they aren't, but cannot convince themselves to believe it. Feelings are not always logical. 
          
          I don't know how someone should deal with someone who has abandonment issues. But I do know this: never make a promise you cannot keep.
          

leiana52

@Seal-Warden Sometimes you have to make that space yourself.
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stormbro

@TaniaMckenzie I understand how you feel, it leaves a bitter and painful feeling of loss. It hurts for a long time, but it too will pass. The same thing happened to me, someone who betrayed my trust. I forgave her, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I had to let it go
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_Gods_Child_

@TaniaMckenzie aw I'm sorry if you're going through this ♡ :(
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TaniaMckenzie

Part 2:
          
          2: Prayer
          This is often taken to mean an outpour of requests on behalf of other people, but that is not what a conversation looks like. Prayer is also simply chatting about one's day, or asking questions and listening for His reply. Relationships are largely talking, and there is no relationship without talking.
          
          This often looks like journaling, singing, or simply speaking (outloud or in one's head). Personally I enjoy journaling, asking questions that I think of during the conversation, and writing His response in a separated section on the page.
          
          3: Meditation
          Contrary to the Buddhist use of the word, meditation actually means deep thinking and is a very Christian practice. This is where reading the Word and considering it's meaning comes in. Often this is mixed with journaling to keep track of one's thoughts and questions.
          
          This thinking time sharpens one's mind, and develops one's faith. Our goal as believers is not to think about scripture, but to think scripture. We want His word so deeply ingrained in us that we think the same way as the One it is about. 
          
          "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest... For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:28, 30
          
          I've never truly understood before how the burden is light, because it seems that following Him means stepping up to a crazy high standard. We are, after all, trying to be perfect as He is perfect. But now I understand; it is easy because He gives us rest, we are supposed to rest very regularly. And the rest we are supposed to find in Him is far deeper than any rest we find elsewhere. 
          
          So yes, if we follow the lifestyle He set out for us, the yoke is easy and the burden is light.
          
          Anyways, that's my weekend discovery. I am now reordering my life to make room for this lifestyle.

_Gods_Child_

@TaniaMckenzie aw God bless you and again thanks!!
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TaniaMckenzie

@tkatxxx 
            My pleasure! God bless you too! 
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TaniaMckenzie

@_Gods_Child_ 
            Exactly, and it's my pleasure! It's a truth I can't believe I never saw before.
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