Lennie

Thank you for all of the votes! I hope you are doing well :)

Anyone else write something you're really proud of, like the start of a story, and then not feel like writing for a while and when you come back to it feeing like writing again you're too worried you'll ruin whatever was done before so you just end up with many unfinished stories you don't think you can do justice to? Or is it just me? 

I absolutely love your bio❤

A message to anyone who knows me irl who finds this account: please let me know. Certain themes are discussed in my poems that only a very small number of people know about, so I'd just like to be aware if you read them - I won't be annoyed or mind, but I'd like to know. I'm also aware some of my poems in "Confessions to Loved Ones" present me in quite a different light to what you might have seen, but remember that this is me when everything has built up and I'm not in a good place. You might also be advised not to read those parts in the same poetry collection which have names of people you know. And of course my "Into the Depths of Despair" collection is not at all happy - some are written from experience, some from observation, some from imagination, but overall, no, I am not happy at times, and I have very much struggled with my mental health. Please don't think of me any differently - I can't help it and am fighting my hardest, but it's a battle that can be difficult to win. 

I'm aware that my poems are not happy. There is a reason for this - I tend to use Wattpad most in my less happy hours, because reading helps me escape and writing helps me vent my thoughts and feelings rather than bottling them up. Also, I know my poems aren't really poetry, or very good at all, and to be honest I'm not exactly proud of the majority of them. I know I can write better, but most of it is a splurge of my thoughts when I'm using it as a coping mechanism. I haven't written much recently because I seem to have lost the ability to convey thoughts, feelings and emotions with words at the moment, but I will aim to write more when I can. Some of you (lol I'm writing this like anyone will actually read this) may also be aware that a while ago I started writing a story. I had a very basic idea which I was proud of and started to write it in my usual style which just didn't work with the nature of the story I want to tell. I do want to write it one day, and I rewrote the very start completely differently, so once I've got a bit more done I may publish that. But for once I'm actually being sensible and attempting to plan it so I know how the vague plot points fit together, and I got to a bit that I can't work out, so it's all come to a bit of a standstill. Since I'm in my last year of school, it's all a tad hectic and I doubt I'll have time to do anything any time soon, but I may attempt to do a larger amount next summer. Anyway, I don't really know what the point of this longggg post was but well done (and thank you!) if you got to the end and I will aim to write more (better) poetry at some point, maybe some less depressing stuff one day, and the story should still happen eventually! 

I'm going through a bit of a hard time at the moment hence the four poems I've written recently. DO NOT READ THEM IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY DEPRESSION/ANXIETY/SUICIDE! Other than that, feel free to read/comment on them if you want to feel a sense of what my brain is saying right now. 

If anyone ever feels depressed, suicidal, anxious, is questioning their sexuality or gender, you're more than welcome to message me! I will do whatever I can to help.