juicy

you’ve had my heart since the day we met. i love you more than you’ll ever be able to understand, juicy <3.

my favorite dude 

merry christmas and happy new year fart for brains

wrinkly. 

ur so old and stinky 

thanks orange app for finally allowing me to read all 134 messages

typical. 

how dare u not respond to my messages 

deal but i get him during the important holidays

but u like suckin toes?

u r a wash up. prove me wrong. 

crickets 

the biggest juiciest fart in all the land that’s somehow weaseled into my heart *vomit*

oh my god i fucking missed your birthday again 

using my tactics of bullying you to bring you online 

@g3tgraced like back problems with a hint of memory loss but hey at least i get cheaper movie tickets

you can now use the senior citizen discount, how does it feel?