happy 2023, lovelies! after much deliberation, i finally changed my username to something slightly less 2017 edgy to celebrate a new era of my life (college lol). guess i'm going to have to make a new cover for armada now lmao ffs :")
well, dan howell returned once again so i suppose i should finally do something similar and explain my own absence.
so i've been pretty inactive on wattpad for about two years now, and honestly it's just because i lost the motivation to post anything on this site after the summer of 2020 ended. i developed awful writer's block back then and basically disconnected from the world after august of 2020 to focus on school, and doing my entire junior year online turned out to be extremely rough on me mentally. i developed really bad brain fog to the point where i could barely think straight, let alone even attempt to write. eventually, i did even try to return back here during the summer of 2021, but things just weren't the same and the site felt extremely empty to me, so i left again.
flash-forward and it's been over a year now since i've talked about posting a story on here, and i'm very reluctant to even be active online at all at this point in time. my senior year of high school was an absolute disaster that ended with me being diagnosed with ptsd (rip my mental health) and me getting a stalker. (not yay! the man is absolutely insane.)
anyways, i've really been trying my best to work on my mental health and i'm doing a lot better now. likewise, i've also been thinking about my time on wattpad and how things turned out. needless to say, i learned a lot from being on this site for so many years and i definitely have enough good memories to outweigh the bad ones. i do tend to look back on my past stories and graphics and cringe pretty severely, but i guess that's just part of growing up lol.
as far as future plans go, i may end up taking my graphic portfolio down for personal safety reasons, and going under a pen name to keep myself safe. and even if i'm not active on this website very often, i'm still very grateful for the friends i made along the way who supported me when i was going through some very rough events in my real life. i love you all loads <3
@DankFabio omg love, I hope you're okay! Working on your mental health should be a priority and even though I know it's not an easy one, I hope your journey is going to be a good one ❤️ I'm here if you need anything x
this isn't a message that i'm going to announce to everyone because i don't want to overshare online, but if any of my followers or mutuals want to know what happened, this message essentially summarizes things. special thanks to everyone who helped me cultivate my own lil community where i could be open and creative over the years, it really does mean the absolute world to me now after all this time
the embarrassment of having to change your nanowrimo book one week into april because you know there's no way you can write a teen fic book with 19340968386 characters in it in the span of a singular month
clarification: the teen fic book i want to write is inspired by irl events in my life and, as such, there's going to be a lot of side characters in it. and mentally i cannot fathom worldbuilding and introducing so many characters in such a short span of time without the imagery and dialogue coming off of as repetitive
i still want to write it though!! maybe summertime this year will be my golden era for this book like summer 2020 was for the griffin syndrome