all i've ever wanted was to have a good relationship with my family; my siblings in particular. i have worked so hard for that. i have spent so much time and money with them. i have given them endless amounts of advice and quality.
and what have they done back to me?
be nice to me? have nice conversations? be a decent person?
of course not.
this time with them, the five days i've been home, i now never want to come back because of the things they've said to me and done to me and how i've been forced to feel.
and the worst part about it all is that i want to keep being nice, but i know i can't. i can't keep putting myself through this.
and that pain is about the worst.
i. am. tired.
and hurt.
so f*cking hurt.
