xxTheLucidDreamerxx

I love him so much that I can’t even think of anything but him,I can’t even feel happy a day without seeing him that day.Every day I keep thinking about him.I love him so much that I don’t want anything bad happening to him because of something bad happens to him I will be sad.I am happy when he is happy,I feel depressed and sad when he feels the same.I play the same songs that are his favorite.I try  to make his hobbies my hobbies.I always think of our future as a couple.I have never loved any other guy like I love him now.I don’t know.I feel like one day my heart is going to break into tiny pieces because after all the guy I am in love with doesn’t even know my name but I know so much about him that one day if he gets to know he would think I am mad but I do assure him no other girl can love him like I do.I love him so much that his flaws look perfect to me and even though I hate people with bad habits like smoking I still love him.His flaws are invisible,my friends tell me that the guy I am interested in isn’t even “good looking enough” but for me he looks better than Leonardo DiCaprio,I don’t know why I am in love with him but for sure I know that love is blind and so I am now.Its like He is a part of my personality and I can’t be happy without him in my life.Whenever I see him across my street my heart beats so fast and I can experience 2 opposite emotions,the 1st being the emotion of love and happiness and the 2nd being that of hatred,anger and sadness which is due to the amount of love that I for him.I hate that I love him,I hate that he doesn’t even know me,I hate myself for not being good enough for him since he is into “hot” girls but I am a cute girl who isn’t necessarily sexy or hot,I hate myself for loving a guy that I thought I would never fall for since I don’t like men who smoke.But now I have learnt something in life in order to love someone you need put down your walls and lower your ego and that can lead to betterment of you or your destruction.

Hey guys please don’t forget to check out my book,I have released only chapter one it is mainly based on my horrible good life,I am a 16 year old girl and I have experienced some insane bad and good stuff that I would like to share about,and also this book will also consist of all the morals that I have learnt.Please do give a feedback to me.I know I am not the best or the one who is like a really good writer but I just have a message to spread so I have written this.Just know that sometimes it’s okay to have weird feelings lol just like me.Love you lots guys.

Hi would you mind reading my books? 

Only to realise that our stars didn’t match to fall in love.Why are we attracted to someone who is of an opposite personality of ours and then change for them so that we can gain their love but instead we become like them and realise that they wouldn’t love us anyway?

Why do I feel like he doesn’t love me  anymore?Why am I so hungry for attention of him?Why do I even like him when he hangs out with so many different girls and falls in lust with every single one of them?Why do I still love him even when he is the reason I get angry,sad and upset everytime? Why is that any other boy couldn’t replace his place in my heart?Why is that even though he is an aquaintance I feel like there is a deep connection between us two?Why is that even though I knew he has a girlfriend and is cheating on her I still follow and stalk him everyday?WHY IS THAT HE CAN’T FEEL THE SAME AS I DO?WHY IS THAT I CAN’T BE PRETTY ENOUGH FOR HIM?

All I needed was the love you gave
            All I needed for another day
            And all I ever knew
             Only you

I am such a sucker in real life,people think I'm too quiet and antisocial and THERE IS THIS ONE CRUSH OF MINE who got a girlfriend so thought to move on but now he is stalking me and following me everywhere I GO! What A Player!! I am soooo done,I feel bad why can't I get a faithful lover ? Why is this world SUCH A BAD PLACE filled with greedy,selfish,bad hearted people.I AM SO SURE I AM NOT GOING TO GET A FAITHFUL LOVER,I hate players one day they make me feel like "Princess" the next day I FEEL LIKE SHIT,I couldn't stop crying the whole night and couldn't even sleep because my crush got a "girlfriend" but he still stalks me and follows and stares at me! I AM SO DONE AND BY THE WAY THIS CRUSH IS A KIND OF A STRANGER (more like an acquaintance) I know him but I don't if he knows me although he acts like he does (staring at me,stalking me) HE STARES AT ME BUT DOESNT SMILE AND HE IS A LITTLE BIT ELDER TO ME. He is 20 years and I am 15 years LOL CAN ANYONE PLEASE ADVICE ME RIGHT NOW! I have been like SHIT! I have had my heartbroken 3 times and I TOOK SUCH A LONG TIME TO RECOVER I FELT SICK AND I AM NOW FEELING AGAIN AND GUESS WHAT? ALL THESE HUGE HEARTBREAKS I FELT WERE JUST FOR MY CRUSHES I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I AM LOOKING FOR ONLY FAITHFUL LOVERS NOT FOR SOME 3 MONTHS OR SO,PLEASE HELP. I feel Sick.Should I respond to this crush of mine who is a player or ignore him?

Finally back to my favorite place (I call it a place because it's so beautiful and interesting I often get lost in it (meaning I loose track of time) and after so much time (1 month) after THIS HECTIC EXAMS GOT OVER I AM BACK!  How have you guys been?

18/2/2018 I'll never forget this day,the day I lost my father's brother.It is an unbelievable death,tragic....His kids and his wife are in sorrow and we too the whole family tree is in sorrow,He was such an amazing person.I feel ill,as though some part of me has died,He had depression,and he became very ill,he had no will to live and time came so fast and now he died.NEVER LET DEPRESSION RULE YOU,TRY TO RULE AND TAME IT DOWN.Never Give up Hope and Will always think about all the people who care about you and the impact you would have on them if you leave them.Always Smile,don't be let down.Know that it's not the end of the road if something is not okay,IT IS ALL OKAY UNLESS YOU DECIDE IT IS NOT OKAY. Learn to control your mind,try to gain balance and I'm sure you will lead an AMAZING LIFE. Live your life to the fullest :D

Thanks for the follow! I really appreciate it! ❤️❤️