Stuck in the snow (with you)

Warnings: mention of alcohol, marriage, low self-esteem, comforting Dean, Dean's reassuring you that you're enough, spoilers from 15x20 because the fic takes place after the finale (but things went well).

Summary: Dean proposed to the reader, but he didn't expect a "No" as an answer. And now they're stuck in the bunker together because of the snow.

A/N: Hello hello! This fic was purely inspired by Jensen's last video that he posted on IG in which he was shoveling the snow.

You can also find me on AO3 and Tumblr. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer! Enjoy!

It's midnight.

You pour some whiskey in your glass for the fourth or fifth time – you've lost count. And yeah, it's ridiculous, you think. It's so pointless, being here, drinking alone, in the kitchen of the bunker, just because your dumb boyfriend had the audacity to propose to you earlier. Every person in the world would be happy about a move like that, but you're not. Why? You don't even know that! So you just blew away your chance to be happy because you were unsure. No one wonders why you've been here drinking alone. You could have been here celebrating with Dean, raising your glasses filled with champagne, but no, you had to ruin everything.

My mind is killing me, you think.

You get up from your seat, only to discover that your head aches and you're not able to walk properly, so you sit down again. This is so embarassing, even more than that one time Dean caught you half-naked in his room because you were looking for one of his flannels to put on just to smell his scent while he was gone. When he still hadn't left. Before you two got together. Again, embarassing.

Your conversation with Dean after 2 AM are always the best ones. That's the time you always find something dumb to do or something stupid to say. At 3 AM, discussions with him just get deeper and meaningful. You remember that the first time you told him you were in love with him, it was half past 3 and you were insanely drunk, but the color of his eyes is still stuck in your memory like a diamond. A green one. Shiny. Beautiful.

You let out a sigh.

The worst part of all of this? Sam and Cas are not here. They had to go on a hunt while Dean was supposed to celebrate this amazing moment with you, because, of course, they thought you would have just said Yes. So now, you're stuck with Dean, who's obviously hurt and a lot of snow outside that forces you to stay inside. Being locked up with Lucifer himself would be better than this.

You let yourself rest a bit on the table, your head between your arms like in a tight hug with Dean, while your shoulders freeze. Maybe it's what you deserve after you let down the only man you're ever trusted with all of your being.

You wake up confused. There's definitely a noise that you can't understand outside the door of the bunker. You get up with a headache, but you're enough lucid to notice a flannel on your shoulders to protect you from the coldness. You look at your phone: 6 AM. What's Dean doing up so early? You wear a sweater and then you go outside to see what he's up to.

«Dean?» you call. He doesn't answer. «Babe?»

«Right here!» he says.

You find him shoveling the snow, with a black beanie, a sweater, grey sweatpants, some boots he wears just for this particular weather.

«Dean, it's so cold out here! Come inside and put something else on, please» you say to him, worried.

«You're not following your own suggestion, sweetheart» he replies, still shoveling the snow. It's like he can't stop. Maybe he's doing it because it helps him not to think.

You just notice that he called you Sweetheart. That's good, right?

«You're right» you say, «but please, do it anyway. Maybe it's just that I care for you more than I care about myself.»

Dean stops. It's like he got paralyzed. Maybe you shouldn't have told him that, since it's something he had done for as long as he can remember, because he has got a good heart and because he had always thought that his life didn't have a value as the others. You didn't mean that, of course. You just wanted him to be alright after you broke his heart. You think that maybe this is you being selfish, instead of selfless, because of your sense of guilt.

He looks at you under his lashes and your heart begins to race into your chest.

«You see, that's the problem» he says, taking a step further to be closer to you. You can feel the heat of his body next to yours and suddenly, you're not cold anymore. «You and I, we're the same. God forgive me if for once I did something for myself, but I guess he already punished me enough, didn't he?» he continues, sarcasm running through his veins. «You're scared, Y/N. I can tell. Why? Because of the way you look at me. You still look at me the same way you did yesterday and to be honest, I don't think it's the way you look at someone you don't love.»

You swallow so hard, you can swear he just heard the sound of the saliva going down your throat.

«Dean, please, I...»

«Do you remember the first thing you said to me after I came back from that hunt that almost killed me? After Cas and Jack saved me? After you thought I was dead for good?» he asks. There's something in his voice that you can't properly catch, like a tone of irony, sadness or maybe desperation. «Because I do very well. Hell, I remember it like it was yesterday!» he exclaims, running his fingers through his hair. He looks exhausted. He has got two dark circles under his eyes and they're circled in red, like he cried all night. Your heart tightens. «You told me that you would have done everything to get me back. Everything» he says, pointing a finger at you. «And you've been long enough with us to know that in this family, when you say something like that, you mean it. That day was exactly three months ago. Did anything change after that? Because now I need to know it, Y/N. No more secrets, no more games, no more tricks. It's just you and me. If you don't longer want to be with me, you just have to say it.»

You bit you inner cheek so hard, it bleeds. A sob slips from your lips, while you're still looking at him. Emerald eyes. Glossy. Beautiful.

«Are you sure that you really want me?» you ask and something flickers into Dean's eyes. Like a spark of hope. «Because I want the best for you and sometimes I feel like I'm not enough.»

Dean sigs in relief and you don't understand why. He approaches you and cups your cheeks into his hands, smiling softly.

«Sweetheart, you're more than enough for me. Not because you've got a talented brain or because of your hunting skills, but for the things you do to take care of me. Because you know what you have to say when you want me to relax or to change a bad habit. Because of the way you keep me safe during a hunt. Yeah, I know you look at me when we're in danger, I do the same for you. But most of all, I love the fact that you know you're all of these things, but you're still worried that I don't know that, but trust me, I know» he says, wiping a tear that just escaped from your eye. «Because I see you, Y/N and you're extraordinary. So please, be sure that you're amazing and that I'm well aware for that. And now say that you'll marry me, because you're not scared anymore» he says, with a smile.

«You'll be stuck with me for eternity, Winchester. Are you ready to do that?»

«Damn right, I am!»

You chuckle.

«Alright, then I'll marry you. Yes! A thousand times, yes!»

That's when he lifts you up and hug you so tight, you can feel your ribs screaming. It's the best feeling ever, though.

«Now we have to shovel all the snow in order to go back inside, though» says Dean, causing you to burst out laughing.

The rest of eternity looks really good, now.