It Comes in Waves

{1} Attempt = Fail

Her world was formed through swells of insight. The constant hum of the world around her was emphasized by the infrequent physical reinforcements of location. She relied on her memory to help navigate her world now, for seeing a layout only once helps immensely in navigation. At least that's what she was telling herself now.

And, she had been all over the village before she was blind.

She hated it even more now when things were changed around the village. It was so embarrassing to run into stalls or trash cans because they weren't where they were supposed be. After all that had to be the reason why she was running into so much stuff now. For surely with how many times she had been through the streets of the Leaf, she had to know where those things were.

Rakuria wanted to hide in a hole because she had done just that and knocked herself over. She didn't know where she was anymore – she was all turned around; and she could hear those around her either snicker or stress about her collision.

She could hear the owner rush around the stall to help with the clean-up; her old teammate – Daichi apologized profusely about not seeing the trash can while they were walking as he helped her up by her arm. He tucked her arm into his to make sure he could help her around better than he had been doing.

Rakuria wanted to leave as soon as possible – this is why she doesn't go out any more. She was mortified that that had just happened. She didn't care for the stall owner's reassurances, the apologies of Diachi, nor the promised sushi they were on their way to.

"I wanna go home," she whispered to Daichi gripping his arm tightly. There was a small pause in his long list of apologies.

"Are you sure? We're almost –" Daichi began.

"I'm sure." Rakuria snapped as she squeezed Daichi's arm. She heard Daichi sigh before he relented and picked her up to take off. She gripped his neck tightly and squeezed her eyes shut.

This was a bad idea – she should've just stayed home. Rakuria couldn't embarrass herself too bad if she was home.

She absolutely hated this.

She hated not being able to see anymore. 

She hated not being able to do anything on her own anymore.

When Daichi placed her down in her home, Rakuria ignored her concerned mother rushing to her as she began counting the steps to the bathroom. Her hands trailed along the wall and furniture that she passed.

Home wasn't much better than outside. 

Since the incident, she had been moved back into her parent's home from her single apartment to help her adjust to her condition. It was a little insulting. She had been a very successful chunnin – almost jonnin – ninja and had been able to live on her own for a while; but now she was stuck back at home, unable to really do anything on her own.

"Honey please, what happened?" her mother called after her as Rakuria slammed the door to the bathroom shut. 

She ignored her mother's knock and soft questions as she stripped, uncaringly throwing her clothes to the ground. She didn't know if any of the trash had gotten on her, but she felt dirty. She wanted to wash herself off and hopefully forget that that had happened.

 After frustratingly fumbling towards the shower, Rakuria drowned out her mother by turning it on. When she threw the current closed, she shut off the world. Underneath the water, she pretended things were back to normal – wishing for nothing else.

Rakuria got out when the water started to cool. After changing in her room, she counted her way to the living room where she felt the chakra of her mother and Daichi.

"Fuck!" She cursed when she slammed her toes into the table in the hallway.

"Are you okay, Raku?" She heard her mother call from the living room.

"Yes!" she spat through gritted teeth as she shook her hit foot in pain. God dammit! She punched the table in anger and heard a nasty crack. But she didn't care. "God fucking dammit!" Rakuria hobbled around the table with her hands out low around her to feel for any other objects in her way.

With her hand guiding her along the wall, she finally made it to the living room. She felt stupid as she had to reach out around her to find the furniture so that she didn't run into them. She had just learned the amount of spaces it took to move between the rooms, but the exact location of most of the furniture still had to be learned.

Her mother and Daichi didn't say anything as she awkwardly moved to the couch, and she was thankful. At least she didn't have to hear that they were laughing at her. She wanted to look around – to focus on anything other than where she felt her mother and Daichi's chakra, but all she had to focus on was the darkness and the couch she was currently sitting on.

"So, what's for dinner?" she asked, after a long awkward pause. She heard her mother shift. Rakuria rubbed her hand on her thigh incessantly. She really didn't want to talk about what had happened in public. She already embarrassed herself enough!

"Well, we were all hoping to go out tonight –" Her mother tapered off at the end. Rakuria could hear the unsaid question at the end. But she wasn't going out anymore – not after that embarrassment.

"Bring me back something good then," she said. 

Her mother and Diachi didn't say anything. 

She was not going out – not after that.