Aaron | ON HOLD

17 ||

Chapter 17

          I got home that night and collapsed on to the sofa with a thud. I laid my head in to my hands and stayed there for minutes.

I let the clock fill the silence of my empty apartment and relished in the noise of my own breathing. Even though I felt so shit, I needed to be positive about my realisation. I needed to tell myself that this was the right thing to do. If I was ever caught, I'd be going to jail myself, and I knew I just wouldn't survive there.

That, and the fact I would have been letting down everyone who believed in me. Christ, what would my mum say? What would she think about me?

The thought made my low mood hit rock bottom. I got ahead of myself. I let a handsome, strong, tattooed man get the better of me. Let me remind you, he was also in prison. What did I really think could have come out of this?

I huffed. I pulled myself to the kitchen, grabbed a snack and poured a large glass of wine. It was needed.

Just as I was about to sit down, my phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hi Chloe." My mum's voice filled the end of the telephone. I took comfort at hearing her voice. I think I always would, no matter how old I got.

"Hi mum." I breathed. I just wanted to relax again. I hadn't relaxed since the say I met Aaron King. I was a constant wound up ball and I just wanted release.

"You sound tired, are you okay?" I was tired, not just physically but emotionally too. It would have helped, I suppose, if I had kept my legs closed.

"I'm fine, just been busy." Which wasn't really a lie. But I could have been busier if I wasn't swanning myself off for secret dates all the time.

I really needed to stop telling myself off. I was making it harder on myself than it already was.

"Well, okay." She didn't seem too convinced. "Have you managed to make your apartment nice yet? I will need to come up and see it soon. Your sister has been dying to see it."

I looked around the apartment. I had done barely anything to it. Other than the odd pot with dead plants in it and my clothes half out of the suitcase, the apartment was exactly the same as it was when I came.

And that was even more depressing.

"Yeah, you will, all of you." I said. I wanted to cheer myself up a little before they made an appearance, otherwise they'd be ushering me back home to be taken care of. And it sounded nice, but it didn't feel right. "I miss you."

I really did miss my family, and I needed to ring my sister one day this week. Maybe they'd be exactly what I needed right now. Even though, I didn't really know what I wanted.

"I miss you too, darling." She replied. "I'll let you go, I know you're probably busy-" little did she know I didn't have anything to do other than cry myself to sleep. "And I'll ring you again soon."

"Okay mum, love you."

"I love you too, we all do. We're all so proud of you." I couldn't stop the tears from forming around my eyes. God, why did she have to say that? I wish she knew, I wish she knew who I really was.

I was full of guilt.

I had to hang up the phone before I sniffled and gave her an idea of how I was really feeling.

I really wished I was stronger than this. But I wasn't.

That night, I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up for work in exactly the same place.