Till Death Do Us Part

1- you begin me

I remember the day when I lost everything. I remember the day when my family turned from me, when my lover left me without any single word, when my friends looked all disgusting at me, when I also almost lost myself to the deep of the ocean. That day when the world completely tried to kill me; I remember that day, the day when I also met you. When I felt your presence for the first time, when I realized that... I found you.

I have broken the number 1 rule for you ... but I know it will be worth it.

—

Dear reader, thankyou.

Thankyou for came along here. Thankyou for reading this, for listening to me, for being here when no one else is. As I said before, I kinda lost a lot of things in my life ... since it happened. I lost an ear to talk to, I lost a shoulder to lean on, I lost an arm to cry in ... until I found you. Until you come here. Oh, my. You are helping me in a way I couldn't tell you, in a way you don't even realize. Everything about you is so perfect that I feel like ... falling in love. With you.

Maybe.

I am not doing okay at this point. Actually, I haven't been really doing okay from the moment when it happened. I feel like a piece of shit every single day, and that's exactly what people say to me every single time. When I woke up this morning and going for breakfast, just as usual, my mother asked my family; my father and my 2 years old younger brother to get up and leave. Dead in her eyes whenever I try to talk to my mother about anything--she always looks at me as if I murdered one of the most important person in her life. And well, in fact, I did. I killed her daughter two years ago, or at least that what she and everyone thought I did, but the point is still, I don't think she will change anytime soon. Forgiveness will never be mine until maybe the end of my life. I said it before, right? I lost a lot of things in my life; and my family is one of it. I feel like... no. I know that you have lost a lot of things too, haven't you, my reader? Could be anything In your life; your phone, your cookies, your dog, your person, or maybe your own self...

Ah, my dear reader. How it seems like we have two halves of the same broken heart ... together, we could beat as one, if only this ocean of words did not separate us ....

The night sky is clear and the moon shines brightly today, it light breachs through my window. After a long day of school, a long day with works, papers, and shit people talked to me .... now I am here, sit on my chair with coffee latte on my desk, eyes looking through the galaxy out there, to the sparkling stars that remind me of the beautiful eyes of yours. I can see it, don't think I can't see it. While your eyes gazed upon my words, i gazed upon your face, delicate and full of light. I can see it all; and I pray to God everyday that this story has never come to end so that I can see your exquisite eyes for a long time.

Clock pointed at 1. 01:00 and I haven't even sleepy yet, regularly going to bed at 3, or sometimes 5, when I have to wake up at 8 every single morning. Sounds fucked up, but aren't our life a little bit fucked up? Yeah. I still got works and papers to get done this night... so I think this is all for today.

There are many chapters in a person's life, and I'm glad you were patient enough to read mine. I don't think this is going to be a long book, but maybe less than ten pages of journey; where there is only you and me and nothing else. A journey to prove that we exist, a journey to prove that our love once exists in a lifetime.

To you maybe I'm just a story, to me you are the reason I have one. My dear, you were always the words.

Good night,
and please wait for me.