Prologue

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(Little note at the beginning, English isn't my first language and this is my first story written in English so I am sorry for all the mistakes!)


„Everything that comes out of your mouth is bullshit!", Coon screamed right in Human Kites face, who made a disgusted expression and wiped some spit from his cheeks.

"Then go ahead and come up with a better plan to catch Professor Chaos, dumbass!" he yelled back and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

The other members of Coon and Friends just rolled their eyes or stared holes in the ceiling. Since Professor Chaos took over the internet in South Park, the Coon has been even more of a sensitive asshole than before. He and his superhero friends wanted to get rid of the problem as soon as possible, each for their own reasons (mostly computer games and porn) but it seemed like it was a bigger problem than they thought at first.

It looked like Mysterion was the only one that still had all of his brain cells together while he was watching Coon and Human Kite screaming at each other. He listened to their battle of nonsense insults a little more before decided to interrupt them.

"Enough!" he shouted and slammed his fist on the table. Coon and Kite immediately stopped screaming and looked at him, while the others seemed to get back from their daydreams into the real world. Except for Toolshed, who got scared so much that he fell from his chair.

"I feel like I am the only one who takes this situation serious enough to handle it like a fucking grown up!" Mysterion continues. Coon just rolled his eyes. "Chillax bro, we are all seventeen, no need to act like an adult who has a stick up in his ass"

Mysterion took a few steps into Coons direction until he stood right in front of him. "Yeah, but there is also no need to act like a spoiled child who's mommy is a whore." He stared Coon directly into his eyes and because he is taller than him, it had the wished intimidating effect. Coons face turned red of anger, but he keept his mouth shut, probably because he couldn't think of any comebacks good enough. Mysterion couldn't help but smile satisfied. "Good boy". Then he turned around to the others.

"I know it is a hard time for us all, but we need to focus right now to get this problem solved. We know that the police won't do shit to get anything done, mostly because they don't know how to use a computer anyways and because they still have all of their porn on old DVDs. That means it is on us to get the internet back to South Park. The problem is we have no idea who and where Professor Chaos is and who is helping him. We also don't know, how he controls the internet and if it is shut down completely or if it's just certain parts of the town that are fucked. So what should our first task be?" he asks into the round.

Fastpass slowly rose his hand. "Get porn on DVD?"

Mysterion closed his eyes and heavily breathed in and out. "No. We need to know what the exact problem with the internet is, so we can make a plan to get it back. It would probably be the best if we split up into groups, so some of us can find out what's wrong with the internet and the others go and search for Professor Chaos."

"That is exactly what I said but thanks for repeating, Mysterion." Coon said and went up right next to Mysterion.

"So me, Captain Diabetes, Tupperware, Mosquito, Toolshed and Doctor Timothy are going to look what the problem with the internet is and the rest can go with Mysterion to see where this little piece of shit Professor Chaos hides." He smiled satisfied and made his way to the exit of the super secret headquarter (Cartmans Basement).

"Great plan, buddy", Mysterion grumbled and turned around to his group, consisting of Human Kite, Fastpass, Wonder Tweek and Super Craig. They all looked exhausted and tired from the last couple of days and since it was already Thursday and there was school tomorrow, Mysterion decided to sent them all to bed. They would have the whole weekend to find the little piece of shit and it would work better if they got enough sleep.

On his way home, Mysterion went to the playground that was empty during this late hour, hid behind a tree and changed his clothes, to finish his walk as Kenny.

When he arrived home, he heard the screaming outside and rolled his eyes. He didn't understand why his parents were still together, but maybe they knew that it would be a hard time to find somebody new that could love them the way they are. Depressed, addicted and broke.

Kenny opened the door carefully and thanked himself for his fast reflexes, because he just managed it do dodge as an empty glass bottle flew over his head and shattered on the wall behind him. His parents didn't even realize that they almost killed their son and just kept on screaming. Kenny had enough of pointless screaming today, so he hurried to get up the stairs to look after his sister. His older brother moved out of South Park a couple of months ago to start all over and Kenny could definitely understand it. Kevin sent them money monthly, not much, but it meant they could afford something else than poptards for dinner from time to time. Kenny just had to be careful that his parents wouldn't find the money or else they couldn't have anything for dinner anymore.

When he opened the door, Karen was sitting on her bed and drew something in her little notebook. Kenny got it for her after an old lady gave him some money for rescuing her cat from a tree. Karen sadly only had three colored pencils, but from time to time, they found a new one on the ground in school that no one missed. Kenny cleared his throat and Karen looked up. She immediately smiled when she saw her older brother, stood up from the bed and jumped into his arms.

"Where were you the whole day?" She mumbled into his orange parker. Kenny hugged her tightly.

"I am so sorry. School was long today and I got detention for... forgetting homework again."
"Stupid boy", Karen giggled and snapped her fingers against his forehead. He laughed a little and let go of her.

"Yeah, I promised you to make it 'till graduation so I should invest a little more time in school."

"You really should!" Karen answered as she made her way back to her bed.

"What did you draw this time?" Kenny asked and sat down next to her.

"My biggest hero", she said with a shy smile and showed him a beautifully drawn picture of Mysterion. Karen was the only one except for the boys that knew about his secret identity. Seeing that picture almost brought tears to Kenny's eyes, so he just grabbed her and hugged her again, so she couldn't see him tearing up.

"You're the cutest sister ever, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do", she chuckled and sat down normally again.

"But now it is time to sleep, tomorrow is school and since you also promised me to graduate with good grades you should get some sleep young lady!" Kenny said with a playfully deep voice while standing up, which made his sister laugh even more.

He went to the door, gave her one last smile and closed it carefully. The screaming of his parents stopped, but he could hear them now having sex which disgusted Kenny a lot. He walked fast into his room and closed his door behind him.

He looked at his little messy room, which kind of stayed the same over the last years. At least he fixed the hole in the wall, not very well, he just put another poster over it, but this time it wasn't a topless girl but a topless boy. He liked both posters.

Kenny hung his Mysterion costume into is closet and kicked his shoes away. He got out of his parker, his clothes following until he was only in his briefs and got into his bed. He pulled his blanket up to his chin, looked out of the window and a few moments later, he fell asleep.

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