Miles Within Constellations

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

PRESENT

"You waste time existing." His lips twist as his mouth curls as if he's aiming to throw the hurt and puke out the venom he's feeling.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I'm taken aback. I've known that his feelings had been a mess. But not what this mess spirals into.

"What I mean to say is that you're just existing with Cassiel!" He takes a deep breath, his voice is chilling when he looks at me. "You live with me, Ange."

I'm speechless, but all I can do is inhale. The way he's looking at me right now makes me know no bounds when it comes to him. To us. About us. I need to throw this out there before I listen to what I should feel. Before I forget what I really feel.

But, I know it's wrong. It's against my modus operandi. I have to do the right thing even in my sleep. All I want right now is to kiss him. Hard.

Daniel Miles is looking at me in a way that every girl wants to be looked at. His gaze is erupting goosebumps on the exposed skin of my thighs. Suddenly, he closes the distance between us. As his hands lie on my left shoulder, I feel electricity-like shocks that shoot up through my entire arm. The sensation makes me retract a step.

"This is not good." My hands are limp and in an electric flux frenzy. I need to remember how to breathe.

"I know," he rests his forehead against mine. "I wish this wasn't so hard. That you were mine. And," his fingers lace under the very thin material of my cami dress, "...so many other things."

I'm dizzy and I need a minute. I take a step back but he places his hand on my waist and flips me around. He rests his chin on my shoulder, hugging my stomach from behind. "Don't go," he said.

But, I don't listen to him. It is time to go.

***

It's usual for Cass. He's busy. He's working. It's the weekend. We've had plans that are not looking up. I miss him.

"Where are you?" I text him.

I don't hold my breath because it has become a constant with him. Him working late hours doesn't help me in any way. I feel ignored, neglected, and it's nothing new. This scares me. This scares the hell out of me.

When did things come to this?

After ten minutes, the phone buzzes and the wooden desk vibrates, disturbing the silence. I scoot forward to check it. Do I want this? Do I really want this? Do I want to live like this?

I deserve so much more. For better or for worse.

I wipe a silent tear as I unlock the front screen to read a message from a guy who means the world to me.

"Sorry love. Can't make it," the message reads. "Work calling. I'll be over your place as soon as I can sort this crap up. Love you. X"

I let the screen die as the words reverberate in my head. Okay, so it has come to this. I need to accept it. It's not too late. Or is it? What I do in the next few minutes, is something I'll regret for the rest of my life. I know I will.

I pick up my phone and look for Daniel Miles' number. I hit the dial button. Miles calling. Miles ringing. Miles picks up.

His voice drawls into a low whisper through the static, "Why are you still awake?"

"I never sleep this early," I said.

"You called in sick today, remember?" He's stating the obvious. He's stating what he shouldn't state, that there's no hope, no volition, no sanity if I'm embarking on what I think I'm embarking.