He was (not) fine [ Osaaka ]

It was not okay

It was always him.

It was always him in his eyes, his mind, his eyes.

It was always Bokuto Koutarou whenever it comes to Akaashi Keiji.

And Miya Osamu was okay with that. He told himself it was okay like this. He kept repeating the same word the moment he first saw the endearing shiny gun-metal blue eyes on his plain dull grey eyes.

It felt as if the big gym reduced to blackness, and he only saw the Fukurodani Setter in front of him. But he knew the setter saw him as one of the background information for his eyes as his gaze parted from Osamu's eyes and glanced around the gym instead, before finally, finally resting those calm orbs on a certain obnoxious loud ace of his team.

His gaze was so soft, Osamu knew he had fallen in love and he knew his love was already fruitless.

The friendly match went on like Osamu didn't have his hope shattered a few moments ago.

He sighed. "I'm going to be just fine." Osamu mumbled as he clutched his chest, feeling sudden hyperventilate. He would never admit this but he was thankful to his twin when he chose the right moment to slap his back hard, making him held his breath in shock due to the trouble-magnet twin of his. He started to calm down again.

He avoided looking at Akaashi Keiji for the rest of the match.

He told himself it was fine.

It was not fine.

It was not fine when years later, as he supported his twin on his volleyball match, Akaashi Keiji came stumbling into his life again. He nearly drop his rice-balls in the making when those familiar sapphire eyes set upon him again.

'I'm going to be fine.'

Akaashi Keiji loved onigiri. Osamu's heart flattered. He felt his heart melted again into Akaashi's once setting volleyballs to the man he was suited and perfect for's hand.

It was not fine. He finally admitted.

"I'm not fine." He said out loud to no one in particular as he watched the man who crumpled Osamu's paper heart like one of his failed-manga proofread, walked away to enjoy himself watching him, Bokuto Koutarou. How many years had it been?

He chuckled bitterly. He went to congratulate his twin and his team after the match ended. His twin was finally useful to his team, it seemed to Osamu.

"Ah, ya came! I thought yer goin' to ditch yer best twin!" Atsumu shouted as he ran up to him.

"Yeah. 'm here for the Onigiri money only," 'Samu replied nonchalantly made the group laughed. Only then he caught in the corner of his eyes, Akaashi congratulated Bokuto and they shared a hug, a hug he wished he was the one into, instead of the MSBY wing-spiker guy.

Suddenly, Bokuto screeched then hooted making the remaining athletes groaned as if to prepare for the worst. Osamu could only raised his brows in perplexation. He knew he was an outsider which gave him a discomfort tingle in his already dropped stomach from the scene before.

"BABY! You're here!"

'Samu was frozen when he saw Bokuto hugged an equally weird messy bed-haired guy with eyes of a cat.

"Of course I'm here for my baby-owl! Wouldn't miss his match or else he'll go dejected mode, huh?" The slightly familiar guy in a black suit teased Bokuto.

What's next was like icy bone-biting cold washed over Osamu as he watched Bokuto and the former nekoma captain, now that he remembered, kissing with passion and too much love sparkled in the air.

They're dating?!

He didn't know his inner voice was his actual voice speaking. He heard an angelic laugh, the one he was confident he heard before but it felt painful to remember, the laugh where it felt like he could drop everything just to hear that again, that melodic laugh like he was the one who will feel disgruntled if he was not the reason behind the laugh. Oh, that laugh was Akaashi's.

"Yes, Osamu-san. They are still going strong since their third-year in high school."

Akaashi accessed him with a glowing look, as if to figure Osamu out, as if to figure Osamu's secret.

Huh. Third-year, huh?

He stared at the suffocating yet calming eyes of the man before him.

Then their third year was probably the time where he first saw Akaashi Keiji.

Akaashi Keiji who was like the moon, and he wished he was constellations that shine brighter than a star like Bokuto Koutarou, so that the moon could notice the constellation more, so that Akaashi would notice Osamu more.

But as he looked at Akaashi, his gaze unwavering from his, sheer hope and tint of longing seeping through those eyes, Osamu told himself,

It was going to be okay.

He was going to be okay.

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