maybe we can fix each other - Ricky Bowen x Ej Caswell (HSMTMTS)

I. Confusion & Melancholic Thoughts.

"... Stop trying, Ricky. don't try so hard, it's embarassing!"

"... why can't you just be real?"

these words kept echoing through my head, not allowing me to sleep. well, that and my lip. thankfully, it wasn't a deep cut so don't need to stitch it up, or whatever... but that doesn't mean the wound doesn't hurt. it hurts like hell. And I'm feeling guilty about the whole Nini situation. Like i said to Ashlyn earlier, she's not like the other girls i dated She's different. She makes me wanna become a better person. That's what I'm trying to do now. i'm ready to prove her that yes, i was wrong for stealing her phone, and so was Ricky for trying to win her back, and hitting me in the face with a basketball; but I realized how much of an a-hole I've been to her. to be honest, I kinda feel bad for being rude to Ricky- wait, nevermind. my lip must be hurting more than the words I directed to him, so I'm still on a disadvantage.

Ej interrupts his train of thought to put some more ice on his wound, so he grabs the ice bag from the night stand, and when he's about to put it on his lip, he realizes the ice has melted and that he's holding a bag of water. He groans in annoyance and stands up. at first, his vision gets kinda blurry, but he quickly recovers and lazily makes his way to the kitchen, to grab some more ice. As he's going downstairs, he notices what couldn't be more predictable: his parents aren't home. They never go to his games, or his plays, they even missed a birthday once, so Ej was used to his parents' absence. He pretty much raised himself and learned all sorts of cleaning and cooking. The cleaning lady only went there on weekdays, so he basically lives alone at night and during weekends, and he somewhat learned to like it. not really liking, but tolerating. It's not ideal, but not terrible either. He stopped to check his phone: 4am. the birds were starting to sing and the streets weren't as dark as they were. He sighed deeply at the realization that he didn't have much time to sleep. He just applied some ice on his lip and went upstairs.

he soon wakes up to his alarm. he groans, annoyed because the guy who hates his guts took a good night's sleep from him - both due to the injury and the guilt.
but why, out of all people, he had to feel any sort of emotion for ricky? he was never a person who enjoyed displaying his feelings, he'd rather hide behind the image of the self-absorbed jock who couldn't spend fifteen minutes without posting something on his instagram page; but deep down he was insecure. he would never admit it to anyone - except Ashlyn. he never told Nini about his anxiety and his occasional panic attacks, which made him question if he had been honest with her about his insecurities - in case she ever found out that he took her phone - she wouldn't hate him for the rest of the year. and eventually Nini found out, which wasn't the most pleasant surprise. she broke up with him, which was justifiable, even Ej admits it, but the transition from "boyfriend and girlfriend" to the feeling that there's a wall between them was too much for Ej. he has an aversion of change, probably due to his parents never being around and his anxiety

he made himself breakfast and changed to his usual school clothes, not forgetting to put on the white and red school jacket, and before he knew it, he was walking through the infamous hallways of East High, home of the leopards.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"The bottom line is, you made a commitment to be here, Ricky. A big role comes with big responsibility. You and Nini set the tone for the rest of the cast," Miss Jenn said in a frustrated tone as she sat up from her office chair. Ricky was still shocked that his parents were getting a divorce, it didn't feel right. he was too ecstatic to even speak properly, so he mostly nodded and pretended to hear what Miss Jenn was saying. he really loved her, but a pep talk was the last thing he needed right now.

"Understood", ricky replied in a low voice, as if he was gathering at the energy he still had to speak. the low volume didn't prevent his voice from cracking, though.