The one that (nearly) got away

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Watching her fall for him was the hardest thing to accept but if she was happy, I want her to be happy.

Seeing them fly off to save the universe again only filled me with worry not for Sheppard but for her. I know Sheppard can handle himself but you never know what could happen to the other people with him. I can only hope they come back safe.

I wonder what would happen if none of this happened, no Reapers means no need for Sheppard, no Sheppard mean I could have a better chance for her. I just wish the universe wasn't such a shitty place. I could never do anything, I'm just a mechanic nothing special about me, no biotics, no powers, no gun prowess, nothing. The most I can do is fix the Normandy and help the Quarians.

When Tali came to me asking if I could create something that would allow her to be with Sheppard and feel her skin on his, I wasn't that surprised. Then again everything kinda revolves around Sheppard. Need a photo of your spouse that you lost somewhere? Sheppard will find it on a mission.

What do I get? Nothing no happiness, no love, just myself alone in this room watching space. Can't tell the one person I like because it would throw her off or I would get rejected.

As much as Garrus tried to get me to tell her, I never can. The fear of being pushed away further for Sheppard will only make it hurt more. I'm tired, tired of trying, tired of loving someone that will never love me back.

I wonder what would happen if they came back and found I had committed suicide? Tali and everyone would be upset but who would comfort her? Sheppard, Sheppard would. I wonder, should I try one last time or should I just give up?

She always seems to bring the best out of me, out of everyone! But I can never show her my appreciation, she deserves everything, yet I deserve nothing, what a life.

From being an orphan on Earth to being shipped to the Citadel, getting captured and sent as a 'indentured child' on Illium. What a crock of shit indentured my ass, I was FUCKING SOLD.

I got lucky, Admiral Rael'Zorah was on Illium for a visit. He found me sitting on the ground next to my 'owner' all he said was "how much" and paid for my 'debt' after paying for my debt he brought me back to the fleet there I met her, Tali with her being around 13 and me being 14. Meeting someone that wasn't immediately hostile to me was an enjoyable encounter.

When I learned she was going on her pilgrimage I begged her to let me come, but no matter how much I begged she always said no, then Sheppard started to make himself known and his work started to spread around the galaxy. When I heard about his work I was hoping that whatever Sheppard was doing, Tali was far away from him and his actions.

When she came back, all she talked about was Sheppard, how amazing he was, how he was such a strong, kind, and smart leader and friend. But she also talked about how upset she was when she learned he 'died'.

Sheppard visited once, that was the first time I met him and Garrus. Garrus is a good guy, a little rough around the edges but all around a good guy. I don't hate Sheppard and I never will but the envy I have for him will always be there.

Getting back to work, there was more to create. If I can recreate the shields that were made for the Normandy and mass produce the shielding people wouldn't have to worry about getting attacked by pirates, Slavers or any nasty thing lurking out there.

The production would take around 25,000 Platinum, and 5,000 Element Zero, with 10,000 Iridium. While costly it could make everyone a little bit safer during their travels. Next is something for all Quarians to be able to feel their alien partner's skin on theirs.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 23, 2021 ⏰

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