There she layed, as solitary as an oyster. Slightly shifting her head in a position where she's discreet. As the night-sky fell, she was up reminiscing about the days before she had sudden moments of uneasiness & fear, figuring how her life went downhill. Yet she is the friend who offers a helping hand whilst she is slowly losing grip. I guess that's her toxic trait, right? Comforting and giving out advice is what she's best at, it's the reason why many people approach her. However, she struggles to take her own wise words. But why? Surely if you're willing to carry everyone's problems, you have none to worry about? Oh how she wishes that was true. She once said "People who care deeply tend to come across as someone who doesn't care enough, only because we don't want to be taken advantage of. We care more than we should; this is our deepest mistake". Growing up, she lacked the motherly love in comparison to the rest of her siblings, she was the child who would have to tolerate the telling off from her mother because her brothers did wrong, she was the child who was passively treated unfairly, hence why she wants to give out the motherly love that she missed out on. Expressing her emotions was the equivalent of a challenge she feels she can never accomplish, but who will stop her from feeling like a burden? Sometimes she has abrupt urges to express the little things that make her happy or sad but she limits herself, not because they're unnecessary, because a little voice in her head chants that she is the listener who should never be listened to. It's quite complicated, I don't blame you.
