i lierally wrote this so fas t
A strangely lukewarm night begins, it's so fkn lukewarm that it smells like warm things... So strange yet some weird mf named Rosey is still wearing a goshdarn sweater at broccoli o'clock and a fkn scarf bcause it kins Mikasa Ackerman from madoka magica. Rosey makes it's way to the crippled building that obviously is sketchy af, more sketchier than Fydoor's musk meters.
"I guess this is the right building huh? Looks cool ig.. at least i'll be making enough money to support Eren yeager's only fans." Rosey chatters, trying to calm down looking at this strange building cause it's so crippled. It almost looks like this war criminal it knows named Max. Rosey hated the thought of max, as Rosey once had a bestie that got attacked by that war criminal... "I wish i could've been there to cheer it on". Rosey sighs as it approaches the crippled building, entering it's screeching door. Rosey enters the world's shadiest looking security room... what made the icing on the cake was that it had the smell of cookies and strawberries: rather welcoming, so rosey took not much interest to it's appearance.. but ofc that should've been the first sign to dip. The sound of ringing kills teh silence louder than the spinning fan.
The voice spoke... "Hello? Hello, hello? Uhh, I wanted to record a message for you... to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm... finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact, so... I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you: there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine! So... let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?
Uh, let's see. First, there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Eh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, 'Welcome to : a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Earwac's Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovery of damage or if death has occurred, a missing person's report will be filed within ninety days or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached and the carpets have been replaced.' Blah, blah, blah...
Now that might sound bad, I know. But there's really nothing to worry about.
Uh, the characters here do get a bit kinnie at night, but do I blame them? No! If I were forced to kin... those same stupid kinnies for twenty years, and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So remember: these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and you need to show them a little respect. Right? Okay.
So just be aware: the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uhh, they're left in some kind of "free-roaming mode" at night. Uhh... something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uhh... they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the Bite of '1738. Yeah... I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?
Now concerning your safety: the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uhh, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won't recognize you as a person. Th-They'll most likely see you as a shortass eren founding titan. Now, since that's against the rules here at Washing Machine Earwac's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully kinshame you. Um, now that wouldn't be so bad if the kins themselves weren't filled with short people, heterosexuals, erwin smith. So you can imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. ...Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up...
But hey! First day should be a breeze; I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uhh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power.
Alright. Goodnight."
The strange voice hung up. Rosey kinda just S. And let the night begin... well before it could actually begin.. Like the fkn snakes these mfs are... This homeboy named Kraze is already at rosey's door. Rosey pauses and stares at the furry. The furry looks right back at Rosey with a blank expression... Rosey gets ready to close the door, but that slittery fucker named starii decided to chacha slide and sonic flip kick under the door before it could close like the grease she is and reopens the door. which is so impossible but come on.. it's starii we're talking about and this mf finds the strangest shit possible. The door opens and the other mf is still there, now w a frowny face cause i slammed the door on her. Starii and kraze begins walking closer... Rosey quivers and begins to back up. Starii chants "Where's your tripper part... where's your tripper part... where's your tripper part..." as kraze begins to chant as well... many of the following things... ":angry animaljam emoji: grrrrrr *snarls*... Y ou will nevr get c6 amebr... ".. Rosey begins to have a mantl break down, aand closes it's eye.s. Bthe night isn't no where near over, but rosey thinks of a cool tactic.... and it finally comes to mind... "Amber may never be c6... and i will probably never be satisfied w my tripper part... b..but... i won't let yall.... fake therians get so swagger poggers... based mfs...."...... but rosey remembers, it kins homura akemi. So rosey just time skips to 5am the end xd idk how to end this.
