Something Impossible DRARRY ONE SHOT

Something Impossible

Author : Trinity Black

Disclaimer : Harry Potter belongs only to Miss J.K.Rowling. I am not making any money of this.

Dedication for author's sister "Noo noo" and others.

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I can see you now. Then again, barely a day goes by when I can't. When I don't.

I wonder sometimes what you would do if you knew I was looking. If you felt my eyes on you. What you would do if you caught me.

I imagine insults hurled in my direction, cruel taunts to match my own.

They're not meant to hurt you, honestly.

Have you ever suspected that I feel anything other than hate for you? You don't have any reason not to hate me, not to have anger boil your blood at the sight of me.

I know that, but foolishly I still allow myself hope. Hope that one day you will look up, your eyes will meet mine, and an understanding will be reached between us.

It's a dream.

Something impossible

***

As he walked into the Great Hall, Harry Potter noticed, with some measure of disappointment, that breakfast at Hogwarts had not miraculously turned into a low-key, casual affair. The Hall still reeked of its usual grandeur, despite over three-quarters of the school's students not being present to appreciate it. Harry walked lethargically over to his usual seat at the Gryffindor table. He sat, ignoring the many varieties of food around him, and allowed himself to think.

The Christmas holidays had rolled round again, and for what would be the final time for Harry. With them came a light dusting of snow and a, painfully familiar, feeling that Harry was missing out on something. He knew that the 'something' was the cosy family life enjoyed by so many of his peers, which made Harry annoyed because it was something so selfish that was on his mind. He also believed that the left out feeling was something which, by now, should be a part of his life that he had thoroughly accepted. Christmas in his fifth year had changed that for Harry, but he couldn't even have that anymore. This year, well it was set to be even worse that last year. This year he wouldn't even have Ron or Hermione to keep him company.

Harry didn't blame his friends for returning home. Hermione's parents wanted her home one last time, before their daughter became a fully qualified member of another world. And Mr and Mrs Weasley had asked Ron to return to The Burrow so they could have a nice family Christmas, for the remaining family members at least. Since both Percy and Bill had been killed in the last year, fighting for and against Voldemort respectively, the Weasleys had become more tight-knit than ever. Harry had, of course, received an invite, but it didn't feel right to join a family mourning its losses whilst he was still mourning his own. He was beginning to regret the decision now he was actually alone.

What's done is done, Harry thought to himself. Accepting that, at least partially, he picked up a slice of toast and began buttering it, albeit a half-hearted movement, but a step in the right direction.

***
I hate being stuck here. From the looks of things at breakfast today, you aren't exactly enjoying yourself either.

You look different without them with you. Weasley and Granger. Why did they leave without you?

If I was in their position, I could never have left you. Not alone, not for anything. But that's the thing, isn't it?

I don't have you.

I'll never have you.

I can never have you.

And I hate that.