𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄, 𝘢.𝘵𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘫𝘪𝘬𝘪

🦋

It hurts so bad, watching the person you love get married to the person you cherish as a best friend.

Any normal girl or guy would rage with envy, hatred, and guilt knowing that their love was taken just from the grasp of their hands.

But that was never your case, unlike my best friend who is outgoing, confident, and straightforward. You are a mix of both her and a complete introvert, which means you lack the confidence to ever confess or express my love for others in romantic ways. You're not a lover type, You're the type that admires from afar, hoping they will come to you.

You don't hate your best friend, you never could. It's not her fault that she made progress with the guy you've loved for 5 years, while you have only had a close friendship with him. But it is your fault, for letting yourself love him even after all this time.

You feel dirty, ashamed, guilty. As if you were committing the worst sin ever within the rules of friendship. It wasn't her fault he loved her, it was your fault because you loved him first. Because you never had the courage to try more.

So why, why do you feel the tears continue to fall, watching their smiles intoxicate the room with joy for the newly wed couple. Why do you sit here and allow this all to happen? Why couldn't you get him when you had your eyes on him first? It was horrible, you wanted to throw up.

"You may now kiss the bride." Your heart sinks at those words, they are happy together, they look amazing together. And there's no way you could ever want to ruin that. You watch as they embrace each other, their passionate kiss for everyone's eyes as they stand up and clap. But you sit there and whimper, your chest hurting from the pain of heartbreak. This is all your fault. You need to get out of here, but you can't ditch your best friends wedding. You are not going to do that on her exciting day.

Even if it brings you pain, she's worth it, they are both worth it.

"Babe! You look pale are you okay? Oh my! Why are you crying babe! Are you that emotional that I'm married?" Your best friend asks. You sniff and wipe away the tears, giving her the best smile you could muster.

"Yeah I just hope you don't replace me!" You say with a forced giggle. She laughs with you.

"Never! You were there before him, always remember that." She says throwing you a wink. She continues to rant but it doesn't take long to see a flash of red hair come striding over to his wonderful wife. Again, your heart has reached the ground.

"Hey! How ya been sugar." Kirishima says giving you a headpat. You flinch slightly, his touch won't help. "We saw each other yesterday relax." You say rolling your eyes.

"Doesn't matter I still miss you." He says giving you a breathtaking smile. "Missed you too." You say, squinting your eyes with a forced smile. If only he knew those words meant more than what you've said.

You miss him, you miss us. You miss our friendship that will never be what it used to be, You're sorry for being selfish. But you found him first, so why can't you get the courage to tell you?

Because it's wrong, he's happy and that's all you need to get by everyday. That's what you want to believe at least.

"I need to go to the bathroom." You say smacking his hand as he messed up my hair.
"Alright don't clog the toilet." Kirishima says which makes you stick my tongue out at him, earning a chuckle.

You'll miss his teasing too, You'll miss everything. You never wanted to say goodbye.

You just wanted us all to remain friends..is that too selfish to ask for?