⚠️Alert⚠️
⚠️Suicide Abuse Murder⚠️
Please do not read if you're sensitive to this stuff
The goal of many is happiness. Mine is survival. Years of abuse and pain almost killed me. But right now, it's what's keeping me alive. The sole thought of revenge, making them feel what they put me through, but a hundred times worse. It's hard to fight through the pain, my mother died when I was six. My father became a drunk b*stard. My brothers hated my existence. My fake friends ditched me after learning of my depression.
All I had left was Jason. He was the only person left in the world who cared for me, who cared that I existed, who cared about my pain. And then in a flash, he was gone. Gone protecting me. Gone for a mistake that I had made, and that I should have paid for. Gone because of me. Gone because of my father. I'd walked into my bedroom, or should I say, my OLD bedroom, I hadn't been in it for years. I was going to grab a couple things and leave the house. For good. I heard creeping from behind me. I turned around and my father stood there. With a gun raised. I only remember the shot and the screams. I'll never forget it. One moment the person I loved most was there. And then he was gone. I've never cried so hard. It felt as if my still beating heart had ripped through my chest. I tried to rush to the bathroom but it was too late. Me and Jason both knew it. Even if I called 911, even if he was already on a hospital bed, attended by doctors. He wouldn't have made it regardless. He died in my arms. He was gone.
I'd told him once that when I died, I wanted to die protecting him. Because he had what I didn't. He was loved. He had friends. He had a family. He was happy. And then there was me. Already a shell of a girl I used to be. Hollow and empty and alone. Except for him. When I was gone, I knew nobody would miss me. Except for him. I'd be more useful gone. I wouldn't hold him back, his friends wouldn't call him weird for dating me... he could actually be complete.
I called his family. They thought it was me. They thought I killed their son. They called the cops. On me. They thought I was the murderer. They will never know what I witnessed. What I experience. I knew they'd always hated me. And I was the only one left in the room. But more importantly, I was black. And he was white. He'd told me that his family was a group of racists b!tches whom someday he would leave. Because however important family is, equality is more. But at least he was loved. His racist family still loved him. And now he was gone. Gone. Because of me. All his family saw, was this black girl holding the corpse of their son. They will forever think that I'm a killer. That I used him. That I found it funny of his passing. They will never know what it's like being black. They won't know what it's like being discriminated. They won't know what it's like being abused and thrown onto the street. They will never know the looks of disdain I've received from anyone and everyone.
T i m e S k i p
The alley behind the local drugstore. My father has been hiding there for weeks. But I've found him now. With my hand gripped on the blade that I took almost everywhere. I slowly walked towards him. He wouldn't get the pain he deserved but I didn't have time. I was already on the run. It's funny to think that just months ago our positions were flipped. I would be the one cowering in a corner while he would be the one advancing with only his fists as weapons. Oh how times have changed. I whispered in his ear saying it'd be quick, but that did nothing to ease the fear in my eyes. I laughed. Laughed at how he was fearful. Laughed at how I was getting a short lived revenge. And then I did it. I knew as soon as the light in his eyes went out. He was gone. He was finally gone. I have no purpose anymore. I don't care. I completed my life's mission. I can now sleep at night regardless that I'm on the run. If I die tomorrow I have no regrets. He killed Jason and I can never forgive him for that. He abused me for years, but now it's over.
T i m e S k i p
It was over. It was all over. The police had found me. But I didn't mind. I streaked through the building climbing each and every stairwell. But soon, there was nowhere to go. The rooftop was a dead end. The female cop raised her gun at me. I felt a sense of deja vu, it was exactly like my father. She told me to put my hands up, and that I was under arrested. I know what they saw. They saw a nonwhite criminal. That's exactly what they saw. I wasn't going with them. I wasn't going anywhere. I kicked back and while I was falling through the air I could have sworn I saw Jason and heard him say my name. "Clea,". And for a moment it felt like heaven. And then I hit the ground, blood pooling around me. I still didn't care. I knew I was going to die even before I jumped. I shut my eyes for the last time, feeling peaceful for the first time in my life. And then I was gone.
The End
Yeh. It wasn't good
I only wrote it cuz I felt like writing something sad
I didn't even edit it lmao
Heh that's also my handwriting on the cover
Thanks for reading it tho
Inara
