Physics

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I am failing physics.

I am an A* student, and do well in most of my subjects.

I was asked by my teachers to take the triple science GCSE, and happily obliged.

But I am failing physics.

The reason being; my physics teacher.

I had him for all last year for all my science subjects, but when we started GCSE I got separate teachers for chemistry and biology as well.

I am not sure of his age, but he must be over 30- my guess is that he's in his early forties or late thirties. He isn't short, but isn't very tall either.

He has short brown hair, slightly thinning but still quite full on his head. He has the slightly aged tone of skin; not tanned but neither pale. Slight stubble is seen on the days when he hasn't shaved that morning. He has a petite nose, and usually smiling eyes. Slight smile wrinkles are starting to crease by his lips and eyes.

He has a thin but muscular frame, arms and legs usually seen in a suit, but on those few non-uniform days, tight short sleeved tee shirts were worn, with equally tight jeans.

But you didn't need non-uniform days to notice his ass. I'm not sure if he knows, but his suit trousers hug his thighs in an almost breathtaking fashion.

Me and my best friend sit at the very front of his class, the tables are all for two people facing the front in 4 rows and columns, and I am often chatting with her, and sometimes we are talking with him.

He makes jokes with us, and discusses internet crazes and mediocre school gossip, chuckling and laughing with us as we take the piss out of people (who aren't in the room of course).

He's always been chatty; in year 9 he would tell us about journeys he goes on, like why half of his ear is missing (he was attacked whilst on holiday by a schizophrenic hospital patient).

The boys who are also at the front of the class often mess around, and usually I would get irritated by the constant paper ball fights, but my teacher is always quick to bend straight over to pick the off targeted ammo.

And I either have to look away or stifle a whimper, because Jesus fucking Christ, I would watch that all day.

Now don't get me wrong, he is a beautiful sight when he laughs - eyes bright and head slightly tilted back, exposing his neck and straight white teeth slightly on show - but it's when he's angry or in thought that really fuels me.

When he is explaining something complex or drawing diagrams, he bites his lip and raises his eyebrows and is a fucking work of art.

However, when he gets angry or frustrated at the class, I bite my tongue and try to not look so pleased.

Furrowed brows, dark eyes, clenched jaw and flexed muscles coupled with barked orders and loud, sharp words make me shiver.

All thoughts of his wife and two teenage children disappear from my head, replaced with filth and dirty, dirty scenes.

I would be lying if I told you it didn't turn me on or that I didn't think of him on those late nights.

And I would also be lying if I told you that it didn't make me feel sick when I catch myself doing it. I know it's twisted and it's wrong and it's my biggest sexual secret but I just can't fucking help myself.

And this isn't some cheesy fanfic, like I don't fancy him and I'm not in love with him and one day I will leave the school and never see him again and he doesn't look at me in a special way and I don't want him to kiss me or hold me or even fuck me, because I am a sixteen year old virgin who is terrified by the idea of actual contact and yeah, I've sucked a few guys off and I've got fingered a few times and I get wasted and high too much and is far too into BDSM and porn culture and I'm also pretty sure I'm into girls as well and whatever, it's fucked up, but hey- horny teenage girls are meant to be complicated and I can't be the only one who gets teacher fantasies.

And I want to be disgusted by the mere idea of even seeing my teacher topless, but fucking hell, when he slams his book on the table or taps that fucking ruler on his desk, I can't help my mind from wandering away from the electro magnetic spectrum, and onto things that I probably shouldn't be talking about on the internet.

I want to have him pinning my arms to the wall, my chest and torso pressed painfully hard onto the cold surface while he runs one of his rough hands down my side while whispering into my neck to shut up and call him Sir.

I want him pushing me back until I stumble and fall back onto a desk, heart in my throat and a rush in my veins as he takes slow steps towards me until there's no more space between us, and then suddenly his hands are wrapped around my throat whilst my legs are wrapped around his waist and I'm not sure if I'm trying to scream or moan but I can hardly even breathe with his grip around my neck.

I want him to maybe even let me keep my clothes on, but with my shirts buttons ripped off and my panties around my ankles, and my knee length socks are starting to slip down as he takes me from behind whilst I'm face down on a desk, my skirt lifted up and my hands gripping the desk for dear life as he pulls my hair back.

I want to disobey him on purpose, just so he bends me over his knees and spank me until there's not a part of skin on my ass not stinging, because he's hit me so hard and I won't be able to sit down for days without wincing.

I want him to tie my hands behind my back with my red school tie and make me have my hair up in a pony tail so he can grip it when I'm dirtying my knees on the floor, with spit dripping down my chin and sweat across my forehead and perhaps even my eyes are watering up because he's so fucking relentless and I'm his and he won't stop and I won't want him to stop.

I am failing physics.