chap 1 🪐

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i woke up from a dream i had, i was in paradise.. i didn't feel anything. i woke up and i looked around me. it was around 12 Am in the morning. i wondered where the boys were. the doctors came rushing in. they told me they thought i was dead. but in reality i apparently died and came back to life. i asked how long i was out for.. they said i was out for like 3 years. i sat in my hospital bed while they checked if i was okay. i sat back and thought about how much i missed out on. then it sorta came back to me. i had a baby.. but there was no baby. the nurse came back and i asked her where my baby was.. she said a boy with blonde/brown hair took him with 3 other boys.

i thought to myself. i missed three birthdays. i missed a lot. i spaced out and i just wanted to be with my friends. i miss them. i got chills. then that's when i asked "when will i be discharged ?".. the nurse responded back with "you can leave in the morning if you'd like, your pretty healthy to me. it's crazy because we thought you were gone but your heart kept going after birth.. your lucky" she smiled and walked out the room. after that i fell asleep and felt a bit confused.

- next morning -

i got up from my hospital bed.. it felt so weird to walk but i managed. as i walked out the fresh breeze hit my face and i took a deep breath. i thought to myself "the boys aren't gonna believe this shit". i didn't call anyone, so i kinda had to lead my way to fuckshit's house. i still had the key. but i wanted to get myself cleaned up. i went to my old house which i also had a key too. i saw that my moms car wasn't there so i went in. the house was so quiet.

i took a shower and put on some of the old clothes i had here. when i walked into my moms room all i could smell was alcohol. i sat on her bed where me and her used to cuddle and watch princess movies when i was smaller. i started to cry. i couldn't believe that she had gotten worse. but i fixed myself up and i walked out the house and locked the door.

fuckshit's house wasn't far from mines, i got a nervous feeling in my stomach. it twisted and turned. as i walked up to the porch i took a deep breath and i raised my hand to knock.

3 years back..

fuckshit's pov
i just lost my sister.. my sister. i still couldn't cope and comprehend what had happened. all of us were just clueless. we cried and cried so much. the only thing we had left was her babies. ruben couldnt cope with it. he went and beat stevie's ass and told him what had happened.
end pov

stevie's pov
as ruben beat the living shit out me, i couldn't help but cry. i cried so much that i couldn't even lift myself up from the cold cement. i was covered in blood and i looked at ruben and he was balling. and i've never seen ruben like that. he was always so tough and i've never seen him cry that much before. after that i just saw he leave and i was still crying on the floor. i regret everything i did. i truly lost her and i did all those horrible things to her. i couldn't live with it.
end of pov

-now-

i took a big deep breath.. i stood there for a few seconds and i couldn't control my emotions. my eyes turned to faucets. i cried so much. but i made sure to be quiet. i picked myself back up and i tasted a bit of my salty tears. ew.

so i knocked and..

hey guys :) i have really good ideas for this book :) PLEASE LET ME KNOW how you feel about it :) ANYWAYS please comment and vote 🤍 much love ! - a

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 30, 2021 ⏰

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