Bassanio X Antonio Merchant of Venice

Court room scene

Antonio glances across the courtroom, seeing Bassanio, his heart pulsates with desire. Conflicted with emotions, Bassanio admits to the courtroom that he would give up his wife to save Antonio. Antonio has been yearning to hear those words exit his mouth for months, so why doesn't it feel like he thought it would? Antonio can't stop second guessing everything, knowing that as soon as this life is no longer in jeopardy Bassanio will run right back to his beautiful, rich wife. But that's just how it goes, during the day Antonio is Bassanio's top priority, but right when the sun sets he leaves him for the woman who he lays beside every night. Bassanio surely is only saying those things to save Antonio, right? There couldn't possibly be a different reason why Bassanio would be willing to give up his wife so easily.

Bassinio makes strong eye contact with Antonio. "Antonio-" Bassanio exclaims,
"Antonio, I am married to a wife which is as dear to me as life itself; But life itself, my wife, and all the world, are not with me esteem'd above thy life: I would lose all, ay, sacrifice them all here to this devil, to deliver you." Antonio's heart skips a beat. Bassanio really does love him. But not in the way Antonio desires.

Everyone in the courtroom is looking at them now. Antonio is thanking God that Portia isn't here, because if she was, she would be able to see past this facade he has put up for years and realize that the love he has for Bassanio isn't just platonic. Balthazar gives Bassanio a strange look, sending a shiver down Bassanio's muscular spine. "Bassanio-" Antonio moans, but there's nothing to say, there is never anything to say, the right words never coming. Because at the end of all of it, he knows that Bassanio is just exaggerating his needs to save Antonio's vulnerable life.
                                                            ...

The court has made a final decision. Antonio's life is safe. Antonio finally exhales, but his heart still feels heavy. Antonio's eyes are pulled to Bassanio's like two magnets closing in on eachother. Antonio doesn't hear a single word the Duke says, the only thought running through his head is "Bassanio Bassanio Bassanio." Bassanio looks unwell, the stress of the court case must have caught up to him. Little did Antonio know, he was flustered from other reasons.

    Bassanio's heart quivered when he heard the fate of Antonio. All that Bassano could think of is that Antonio would be gone before he was ever able to be with him. Upon the verdict, Bassanio doesn't hear a single word the Duke says, the only thought running through his head is "Antonio Antonio Antonio." Bassanio's heart is torn in two, one side with his love for Portia, and the other with the scandalous thought of being with Antonio. Not only would he be performing adultery on a wonderful woman, but if anyone found out he were to be with another man, his reputation would be stripped and he would be shunned from society. Not to mention he would be turning Antonio into the dirty mistress. It would destroy Antonio's life. Besides, Antonio doesn't feel that way about him - he can't even count the numerous times Antonio has referred to him as his "dear brother." Bassanio realized he must be confusing brotherly love with romantic love.
   
    The court is dismissed and Antonio is trembling with the need to tell Bassanio how he pines to be with him for eternity. He walks out of the courtroom looking down at the floor, needing to get away from Bassanio before he does something he'll regret. As he turns the corner he bangs into a hard, brooding figure, looking up slowly he sees Bassanio.

    Antonio stopped breathing. All the air left his lungs. Without speaking, Bassanio pulls Antonio into a dark, private room. Antonio feels the solid figure of Bassanio wrapped around him, and even though he tried not to, he couldn't resist the demand to hug him back. His embrace says what words can't. They stay like that for what feels like hours. When they finally pull away Antonio looks into Bassanio's eyes and fury runs rampant throughout his body. Antonio doesn't know how to feel; Bassanio acts like maybe there's something more one day, and then the next treats him as if the only good thing about him is his money. It's exhausting and confusing. But if there's one thing Antonio does know is that this ache he feels in his chest for Bassanio is completely one sided. Antonio yearns for the unrequited love to be returned.

    Antonio pushes Bassanio away, fury taking over his body. "Oh so now you want me?" Antonio spits out. For a split second Antonio thought he saw pain flash through Bassanio's eyes, but as quick as it came, it was gone. "What do you mean by that?" Bassanio questions. "Oh you know exactly what I mean." Antonio is shaking from anger, words leaving his mouth before he can think, "It's always a puzzle with you, riddled and confusing Bassanio. You tell me you care for me and that I mean the world to you, and then the next second you leave me for Her." There's no going back now, Antonio has to finish what he started. "You mean my dear wife?" Bassanio says. "Oh so now she's your dear wife, but when my life was on the line she was just another sacrifice you were willing to make." Antonio yells. "Are you seriously trying to scorn me on how I treat my wife? I was trying to save your life! The least you can do is thank me!!" "Thank you?! Why on earth would I ever do that! I didn't ask for your help!" "Well sue me if I didn't want you to die! You mean the world to me!" "No, what I give you means the world to you. The whole time we have known each other you used me for one thing. My money. So don't go pretending that you trying to save me was anything but selfish!" "I was going to give up all of my money for you! I don't think that screams "selfish," do you??!!" "You're a liar and a cheat." "How on earth am I a liar?! I have never lied to you a day in my life!" "YES YOU HAVE!" "WHEN?" "YOU SAID THAT YOU'D GIVE UP PORTIA FOR ME BUT YOU NEVER WOULD'VE! YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU DON'T! Everyday I am put through the agony of watching you love someone other than me. And it kills me!" "What do you mean by this Antonio?" Bassanio knew what it meant, but he needed to hear the words come out of Antonio's mouth. "I LOVE YOU BASSANIO, and not in a brotherly kind of way. I am in love with you. But you don't love me back, so I think we can save me the humiliation and just leave and pretend this didn't happen." There was a line, and Antonio crossed it. Even so Bassanio just thought, "to hell with the line."

He yanks Antonio by the shirt, and smashes their lips together, slamming him into the wall. These desperate kisses turn into soft and meaningful ones. Bassanio pulls away, "We can't do this." Antonio is pained but realizes what needs to be done. "In another life." Antonio says, as he leaves Bassanio alone in the darkness.