Psychological Contagion

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My mind

My heart

They ache

Crumbling from within the suffering of another

Their pain, a pain they have yet to know

A curse that they have yet to find
One that they unknowingly believe to be a blessing.

He who wages war with the darkness within another.

Should look to it that he himself does not become the darkness

For if you gaze long into the abyss
The abyss gazes into you.

My gaze has yet to waver

Their pain consuming every fiber of my being

And they have still yet to notice

The immense suffering of both their own soul and mine.

Feelings once that of malice and rage on behalf of another

Vanish before me

Subduction to the abyss seemingly inevitable

Now overwhelmed by pure desolation.

The void within my own being

Has been ignored for far too long

Regard for my own well being

Occupied by the agony of another

And will now make itself known.

I break from within

Shattering into a morsel of misery

The realization I have been poisoning myself

Cuts deeper than that of a wound inflicted from a nimble slash by the Sythe of the Grim Reaper himself.

Giving assistance but never accepting

Healing another's pain whilst burying my own

The helping hand needs help

The weeping soul refuses

Sympathy becomes empathy

My own abyss has yet to be filled with joyous celebrations and companionships.

My strength sufficient till now

My resolute will and spirit

Suddenly crashes down

Mental health deteriorates

Emotional stability degenerates

And with a loud yet deafeningly quiet snap

I finally submit to insanity.

Ignorance of my own pain being the poison

Self sacrifice for another being the syringe

I have been tainted

No one but myself to blame

I break

I break beyond repair.

Morals?

Sympathy?

What foolish ideals

I've for so long followed them

Only to end up here

Completely submerged into the same abyss I've been fighting so long against.