anna's random rants

the awakening--a stupidly long essay about star wars

I still remember watching the first trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I was two weeks past eleven years old, a tiny fifth-grader curled in one of the recliners that make up our couch, probably watching Phineas and Ferb, the first time I heard those fateful words. "There has been an awakening," spoken by who I would later learn was Luke Skywalker. Though I knew that was nothing but a line in a trailer for a movie in a franchise I knew very little about, something awoke inside me as well. I turned to my dad, scrolling through his phone in the chair next to me, and asked him if we could watch Star Wars. He nodded and said that was okay, but never got around to buying the movies. Eventually, I forgot my request and went back to focusing on my greatest obsession at the time, The Lord of the Rings.

That was, until May 4th, better known as Star Wars Day. My dad came home from work, set his stuff on the counter, and asked me if I still had any interest in watching Star Wars. Amazon was running a sale, and he could get them for a relatively reasonable price. My heart leaped, and I nodded, trying to keep my cool. That night, he ordered the original trilogy, and they came a few days later. We started watching them the night they arrived--May 6th, 2015. The day my life changed forever. I fell in love with that galaxy far, far away and all its inhabitants--well, most of them, at least. Jabba the Hutt always kind of weirded me out. We watched them all that weekend, and a new obsession was born.

I spent the rest of the year impatiently waiting for the release of Episode VII: The Force Awakens. I devoured every trailer right as it came out and spent my free time searching for any clues as to what might happen and who I might get to meet. Even in those days, before I knew her name or anything about her, really, I was drawn to Rey. I can't remember what it was about her. The only thing I can figure is that she was a girl and she was the hero and to eleven-year-old me, that was all that mattered. Maybe that's all it was. All I knew was that I could not wait to learn more about this girl, this heroine who would shape my life like Luke Skywalker shaped my father's.

After what felt like seven years of waiting and speculation rather than seven months, the day finally came. December 18th, 2015. I was twelve years old. I begged my dad all week for the chance to go on the opening Friday, and finally, he gave in. I waited on the edge of my seat all day, checking the clock every few minutes until finally, the last bell rang. I sprinted to the door and counted the remaining minutes until the time I finally got to see the movie I'd been waiting for all year. My best friend asked me if I wanted to go with her right before we left for the day, but I proudly planted my hands on my hips and declared that I already had plans to go with my dad. She nodded and told me she hoped I liked it before her name echoed over the walkie-talkie, beckoning her to her dad's truck.

That night, I climbed in my dad's black Ford F-150, Radio Disney buzzing with the sounds of the red carpet, and we made the twenty-minute drive to the local AMC 13. A Big-D screen, which is just larger and more immersive than the other screens, had recently been installed, so we splurged on more expensive tickets for the chance to see it there. I curled into the cushiony black chair, rocking back and forth, talking a mile a minute about what I thought might happen and the ties back to the original trilogy and everything else I could think of until the lights finally went down. Even then, questions bounced through my brain, sparking pangs of anxiety in my chest. What if I didn't like it? What if the characters were terrible? And most of all, what if it ruined this universe I clutched to my heart?

Then, after what felt like a million previews, those familiar blue words materialized on the screen, welcoming me into the world they held with open arms like a mother welcomes her child home from school. My anxiety vanished with no signs it had ever been there at all as I nestled into my seat, reading that famous phrase. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." The logo burst to life on the screen and faded into the distance with a trademark trumpet blast, startling me and sending me into a fit of joyful giggles, overcome by the moment. The opening crawl sucked me in, eyes locked on the yellow words navigating to the top of the screen through a sea of familiar stars, ears attuned to every note of the theme as I watched a new story unfold with every word I read. Chills danced down my spine as I registered that opening line: "Luke Skywalker has vanished."