growing up...
i didn't have the perfect childhood.
don't get me wrong, but sometimes i wished i could have a normal family like the ones in commercials or movies.
where the mom would cook the kids breakfast and hug them on their way out of the door for school, where the dad teaches the kid something new every day, a family, that's all i wanted.
but what can i say, that was just a wish i wanted to come true, but wishes don't come true?
my father left my mother when he found out my mother was pregnant with me. she decided to keep getting child support, but it wasn't enough. my mother was an alcoholic, she would drink and drink and drink until she was surrounded by bottles. i loved her even if she didn't love me, she was my mom, and i had no one else, growing up was a pain in the ass. i didn't have friends because they all thought i was weird because i was a quiet kid. i didn't know how the world worked or how the world could be so cruel. so i had to learn the hard way. all the other kids bullied me, but that was never my fault, i was just too scared to speak up for myself, but after i found my mom laying on the couch not moving, part of me felt free, free from the abuse my mom did, free from the way my mom never loved me, but reality hit me again, i was now alone, for good. i had no idea to call someone i was 6 at the time. so i sat and waited hoping someone would come for me, a few days later a policeman shows up at my house, he was nice but he was just doing a job. he soon saw my mom's dead body and said something on his radio, next thing i know I'm looking out the window of a police car. i never been in a car before.
they took me to the police station, asking me questions, but i didn't understand them, how could i, i was only a little kid, since they couldn't get any answer out of me they took me to a big house, i saw a lot of kids different types of ages, as i started to get older i realized what the police did, they put me in a place where kids go when they have no one. even if i was still growing i could still rely on myself, i didn't need some stupid stuffed animal to hold or i didn't need my moms or father, it was just me and only me. so i started to rebel, i would sneak out of the house and wander the streets. best choice i ever made, i saw the real action in the street than being stuck at the center, by the age of 13 i was smoking weed and cigarettes, it made me forget about everything. another good thing i met some people who were just like me! the day i met matthew is the day ill forever remember. it was pretty funny, i was laying down on the grass looking at the stars and decided to close my eyes when i open them i see a boy that looks a few years older than me right in my face.
"hey, what's a kid doing here in the middle of the night?" he says as he tilts his head while still looking at me. i roll my eyes and close my eyes again but i can still feel him staring right at me..
"can you not look at me? what are you some creep?" i say with some sass and raising my voice. he chuckles and lays down right next to me looking up at the stars as well. we share a moment in silence before i open my eyes again and look at him.
"can you not look at me" he says trying to copy my voice. that made me crack a smile. he also smiles and then looks at me. then we go back to looking at the stars, he pulls something out of his pocket, its a joint, he raises his eyebrows at me giving me the look like i should take the joint, he lights and i take the first hit, it always feels like heaven. we take turns taking hits until the joint is almost ash. at this point, we are high as hell, sharing everything about each other, he gave me his name. matthew. it was a nice name, and I'm not that rude so i gave him my name as well. he said it was a beautiful name for me.
"no but seriously, what are you doing here [name]" matthew says confused
"Well I'm supposed to be sleeping but fuck that place, everyone pisses me off in that hell hole, this is the only freedom i get and I'm going to make it count," i say while looking at the stars. matthew just looks up and doesn't say anything which I'm thankful, im glad he didn't call the cops on me or else i would of been in trouble. we continue to lay in silence, while the breeze hits our faces, he gets up and starts to walk up, i sit up and look at him fading
"WAIT" i yell, he turns around and waits until im standing in front of him
"will i ever see u again," i say kinda hoping he would say yes, he chuckles and pats my head and nods. a huge wave of relief comes over me. i hug him and say goodnight and run away to the place im staying at. ever since that little interaction me and matthew became closer and close, he was like an older brother i never had. he taught me everything i know now, how to play the guitar, how to skateboard, how to roll a joint for future reasons. he would share his weed with me all the time and i was thankful for him, he didn't have stay in my life but he wanted to. he told me he was in a band as well. with some of his close friends, we would sing some songs together like a big happy family.
a family..
thats all i ever wanted.
matthew surprised me with a phone, it wasn't much but i was still thankful, he told me if i ever need anything to call his number. i didn't use the phone much because we weren't allowed to have phones, but that would all change
i was sitting by myself outside when i see a car pull up, it was a perfect family, a beautiful mom, a father, and girl that looks around my age and a little boy. the mother smiles at me and waves i run inside because i was nervous and flustered, why would someone say hi to me? i sit watching tv when an employer walks up to me saying someone wants to see me. i walk with her and see the perfect family i saw outside, the mother looks at me again and smiles
"oh well you look at her she is such a peach, right hun?" the woman says to the man
"yes yes she is a peach honey, what do you think kids?" the man says talking to the two kids next to them
"it would be nice to have a sister my age i guess.." the girl says. the boy doesn't say anything and comes up to me and hugs me, im shocked, no one besides matthew had hugged me. i didn't know what to do so i just stood there. the boy mumbles something but i couldn't hear him because he had his face on my shirt. the woman pulls the boy off of me and pats my head, i didn't know how to react i just stood there. the employer starts to talk to them but i space off,
why are they being nice to me?
so many thoughts were running through my head, until i saw them leave, the woman waved to me and i slowly raised my hand to wave back. that wasn't the last time i saw them. i told matthew and he was surprised, but he told me not to worry they are probably wanting to adopt you, they came back every day to see me, i got more comfortable to be around them. until they told me they wanted me to be apart of their perfect family, i smiled and said i would love to, so that very day i got my wish.
to have a family
i guess wishes do come true
