The Theft of spagh3tt1h00ps

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Thud. Thud thud. Thud thud.  The gentle beating of both The Snape Snatcher's feet on the dusty and battered sofa synchronised with the beating of her heart. The adrenaline pumping in her veins responded to the thoughts being rammed into her brain, the kleptomaniac kept rapping her nails on the exposed grate of the back of the chair as she painfully groaned out "I need another" in a long drone that grated sips___tea's ears. 

As their eyes met, The Snape Snatcher reached out her hands in a grabbing motion towards the shorter girl, whining as she did. With a sigh, sips___tea trudged over and smacked her hands lightly against the other girl's. "Fine, [redacted]. If it will make you shut up," she muttered with a grimace. "But does it really have to be her?" The Snatcher sat upright, grasping sips___tea's shoulders, bringing her face very platonically close to her's. "Of course. It has to be. Her simping has to be one of the strongest of all." Leaping up and pirouetting towards the coat stand, in her usual annoying fashion, she sang out tales of all sorts of snatching she had dreamt up. One particular tale she hadn't shut up about for a while was that of the ultimate simp. The tale of the legendary spagh3tt1h00ps.


The grey and now rather dull building loomed once again over the two, one girl beaming with sadistic glazing, and the other with a scowl, pained at being gripped with such strength by the wrist as she was dragged along to the Grand Heist. What once seemed like a magnificent castle no longer was a perceived threat, its insides studied and perfectly mapped out by the manic, bouncing woman who stood before it. The Snatcher races up to the bleak facade with long strides, yanking the reluctant girl along with her.  As she traced along its rough surface with anxiety bitten nails, the cold stone no longer felt unnatural to her. She took a deep breath and kept her face down as she grinned. This was going to be easy, there was no need to even infiltrate the building this time. 

A dark shadow emerged from the distance without a sound, creeping around the corners of the deathly exterior of the school. Skulking, stalking around the many shorter figures that surrounded the area, pushing through with a great determination towards the intrusive women that stood on the other side of the courtyard. Finally, with clicking heels and a cold grip on the tall woman's shoulder he cleared his throat, as he forced her to turn towards him. The Snape Snatcher narrowed her eyes at the hideous creature that stood before her. "So. You've decided to return." The slime of his voice making The Snatcher shiver, and if it wasn't for the vulnerable girl who stood triumphantly behind him, she would have vomited right on his shoes. The look of pride she had as she knew that Severus was about to desecrate the pair just filled The Snatcher with more fury. How could he trap someone like this so tightly? He had her wrapped right around his little finger, all topped off with the matching cloaks that they bore, she clung to his arm raising her chin, unclear as to whether it was due to short stature or in some form of disgust at those who did not in fact simp for Snape. 

"Hmm? What is it, my dear?" he snivelled at the young woman, in such a contradicting tone of voice to the words that The Snatcher cringed. The lovesick teen had trained the man to respond to her affections in such an uncharacteristic way that he couldn't even be caricatured in his usual way. But perhaps it was him. Was this the way that he manipulated all these young girls, lads and enbies? Was his tactic to change his facade to appeal to those who were vulnerable and craved such affection? 

"You fucking disgust me," The Snatcher spat at him with a grimace, standing tall to be an inch away from his face. "All these young people, all manipulated by you. What did you do to deserve this? A dark and edgy exterior cannot be truly changed with false words. They don't even suit you!" The criticism made sips___tea flinch slightly, as she recoiled away from the arguing pair. "All these people need the same thing, an eager ear and kind words. They can get them anywhere! They do not have to get them from you." As he recoiled with indignation, greasy hair sticking slightly, he turned from ghastly pale to a deep shade of pink, taking a deep breath of air in an attempt to retort back to the rude madam. 

"And who do you think you ar-" spagh3tt1h00ps started before a loud vwoooOOO-THWACK sounded out as a Groan Tube (TM) struck the proto-emo in the raven coloured mopped head. "Let's gO!" sips___tea shrieked as she plunged the prepared sack over the captivated girl's head. Tying the strings at her feet in a very neat bow, she felt herself being dragged away by the excited kleptomaniac, bringing the bag with her. Together, the three of them bolted towards the glimmering sunset.

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