my dearest mikasa.

I love you

    "Eren.."

    "Why are you just standing there?" His eyes. They weren't glowing anymore.

They had stopped shining awhile ago, but now Mikasa could see. He was tired. They were all tired. It's not fair..

    "Stop thinking. Just do it, Mikasa." His glare pierced through her heart, her hands shaking.

    "Eren please..I can't do it." It hurt. So badly.

    "Hey Mikasa? Do you remember Sadie? Our butterfly?" She looked into his eyes, trying to find at least some emotion while he recited such a precious time in their childhood. But..nothing.

    "Yes I do."

    A laugh. A bittersweet sound Mikasa found herself hating more and more.

    "She was so pretty. I remember as soon as I saw her I immediately thought of you." Eren whispered, his head lowered.

    "Y-you did..?" She could feel her cheeks grow hot, and she clutched the warm scarf.

Eren sighed and gently rested his hand on the fabric. Rubbing a circle with his thumb, he finally looked up.

    "This old scarf. It's always been important to you, huh?" He chuckled softly.

    "Eren..why are you acting like this?" Mikasa gripped her scarf harder, feeling the warmth radiating off the boy in front of her.

    "I guess..if you're going to kill me, I want to make our last moments happy."

    "But..you said you hated me." It hurt.

    "You can be so dumb, you know that?" A smile. A genuine smile. The smile she had missed for so long finally showing up on his face. "Mikasa, why are you tearing up?"

    "Eren, I lied."

    "What?"

    "Back when you asked what you were to me, I said family. And I lied. Eren, you're so much more. I can't take it." Tears were flowing down her face now, while her cold hand found itself in a warm one.

    "I know now. Maybe..maybe if I had understood back then, we wouldn't be here. Just maybe." His green eyes stayed locked with Mikasa's dark ones, their hands intertwined.

    "Eren I love you. So much. I always have." She could feel herself breaking.

    "I know. I..I love you too. I just could never accept it." He felt his heart begin to shatter.

A hug. Mikasa hadn't received one from him in so long. It felt so nice. She felt safe again. Her sobs echoed in Eren's ears, his own tears starting to drip down on her shoulder. The world was so cruel. But at the same time..

    "Mika look. You think that's Sadie?" It was so beautiful.

    "Heh, it could be." Mikasa smiled, watching the butterfly make its way around them.

With a sigh, Eren removed himself from her arms and wiped his face. "It's now or never, Mikasa."

    "Eren, I'm so sorry. I wish I'd told you before." Her voice trembled as she reached for her blade.

    "It's alright. Hey, wanna kiss me goodnight like when we were younger?" Another smile. God, how could she say no to that? It felt nice. His lips were warm.

    "See you later, Mikasa."

Mikasa took deep breaths and forced herself to look away from his head.

    Maybe in another lifetime..we'll do better.

The butterfly really was beautiful.