Dear Diary... ~HyungWonHo~

1: My Deepest Secrets

I always keep my diary with me wherever I go. I know it's silly, but I write everything in there. Random notes on my life, stuff that happened during the day and my deepest secrets.
I'm gay. That must be my biggest secret. The one no one can find out about.
Even if my school is pretty accepting, Wonho, my crush, came out last year and he's still one of the most popular guys at school, my parents probably wouldn't like it. I tried to tell them once, but once they started scolding me for "killing our bloodline" I just told them it was a joke. After all, I made sure to tell them on April fools day so that I could easily turn it into a prank of some kind. The relief on their faces caused me to decide one thing. I'm never going to tell them for real.

"Hyungwon, you there?", a voice suddenly asks. I wake up from my thoughts, looking at the boy.
"Yeah, sorry Kihyun", I answer.
"Look!", Kihyun says, pointing across the hallway. Wonho. I can feel myself nervously sweating. Does Kihyun know about my crush on him?!
"He's so damn fine...", Kihyun says, drooling a little. I chuckle. Nope, he doesn't know. He might have a little crush himself though.
"Aren't you in love with that guy who you have music class with though?", I ask. "Shownu or whatever his name was..?"
Kihyuns cheeks turns slightly pink.
"I don't know what you're talking about!"

My gaze wanders back to Wonho. As usual, Changkyun is with him. Close.
They haven't made anything official yet, but I see the way Wonho looks at him.
I wish he would look at me like that...

"Do you think they're a couple?", I ask.
"I don't know", Kihyun answers. "Why are you asking?"
Fuck. Why did he have to ask me that?!
"Uhm, just curiosity...", I awkwardly reply. "I mean, everyone is simping over him, I just don't understand what's so special about him anyway..." That was obviously a lie.
"What do you mean?", Kihyun exclaims. "He's everything... He's hot, athletic, charismatic..."
"Sounds like someone has a crush", I tease.
Kihyun laughs. "No way!"

I'm not jealous. Because I know neither of us has a chance on him. And it's not like I've ever actually talked to him. Only about school stuff, since we sit next to eachother in biology class. This is just a little crush, right? It'll be over soon. Everyone has a tiny crush on Wonho, don't they?

Wonho POV

"Changkyun, you're coming to Marks party, right?", Minhyuk asks. The dark haired boy nods. Im Changkyun. I've had a crush on him since the day we met. But I highly doubt he feels the same about me.
"Hey, Wonho", Minhyuk suddenly says. "Mark said we should bring as many people as possible! You should totally invite that cute boy who always stares at you in class!"
"What? Who?"
"Come on, you know!", Minhyuk says, probably struggling to remember his name. "He's about this tall, fluffy hair and has these really cute lips! He sits next to you in biology class!"
"Ohh!", I say, suddenly getting who he's talking about. "You mean Hyungwon?"
Minhyuk nods. "Yes! I thought that you could invite him since you sit next to him!"
"Why him?", I question. "Do you like him?"
I could see Minhyuks cheeks shifting in pink as he looks down. "It's nothing like that..."
I chuckle at his obvious lie. "I'll ask him"

Hyungwon POV

"I'm so jealous!", Kihyun exclaims. "You get to sit next to Wonho in this class!"
"And you're sure you don't want anything else from him than a heterosexual, platonic friendship..?", I ask, laughing a little at my friend.
"What do you mean, of course not!", he answers sarcastically. "Alright, he's so hot the sun would feel threatened!"
We both burst into laughter.

"Alright class", the biology teacher starts. "Please all sit down, take out your books and turn to page 36"
I sit down next to Wonho, slightly nervous. But as I open my bag I realize the book is missing. "Oh shoot", I mumble. "I must have forgotten it at home..."

"You can read in mine if you want to", Wonho whispers, probably noticing me freaking out.
"T-thank you!", I whisper back.
"By the way, Hyungwon", he starts. I'm surprised by the fact that he knows my name. After all, he's popular and I'm just a nobody.
"Mark Tuan is hosting a party this weekend", Wonho continues. "Would you like to come?"
I freeze.
Is he asking me out?! No, don't be silly Hyungwon! He's in love with that Changkyun guy, right?

"Uhm... Sure!", I finally answer. Wonho smiles at me. "Good! I'll see you there then!"

As soon as I get home that day I pick up my diary from my bag and a pencil from my nightstand.

Dear diary
Wonho invited me to a party!!! Parties are usually way out of my comfort zone. But since he was the one asking, I just couldn't say no.
I know it's not a date... but I'll pretend! Just for one day. I keep telling myself it's just a crush. But I've liked him for more than a year now... What if I love him?