𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙔𝙤𝙪 || 𝙌𝙪𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

[23] ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ ᴍᴇ...

Note: this was inspired by the amazing song "Hello Again" by Ivey Asher that was originally written for Wandavision (amazing show btw totally cried, not ashamed) and it was just too beautiful not to write about so go check it out and stream it on spotify, she's got a beautiful voice and it makes wandavision even more sad and heartbreaking ok bye <3

"I can't feel you anymore,"

*****

"ALEX!"

~

The plain white walls and fluorescent lighting were always a least favorite among young adults for photography reasons. The lights washed out the bright hues of outfits or made perfectly healthy, made up models look washed out and sickly. Some don't like them just for the fact that they're big, ugly, bright, white lights.

But Y/n had different reasons for hating these lights. Every time she saw them, she felt a piece of her heart die.

And now seeing the boy she now knew she loved, being illuminated by these horrid lights, she hated them more than ever.

Unfortunately for her, she knew she would be seeing a lot more of these lights in the coming days.

As part of the damage caused by the crash starring Y/n and Alex, the young man had been knocked into a coma. His body was too weak to keep him awake and emergency services barely made it in time. Thankfully, they were rushed to the emergency room.

Y/n had managed to escape with a broken arm and bruising all over her body, but she still had her consciousness.

Alex wasn't so lucky.

"I can't feel you anymore,"

"My hand fell asleep."

For the past few days, after being dismissed from her own medical stay, Y/n made her way to Alex's room and stayed there for hours on end. Because they had been transferred from the public hospital to a home suite in his apartment, there were no limits on visiting hours, so Y/n made staying with the sleeping Alex her life.

She'd eat meals and snacks, do work for both college and her channel, watch t.v., read to the boy, and sleep there if no one came over and forced her out.

Seeing him in this hospital bed, so fragile and still, reminded her of how a baby looks when it's first born and sleeping.

So precious.

Must be protected from the world.

Fed and kept warm. With a better blanket than this hospital rag. Like seriously, they cover dead people with these...

And Alex is not dying.

"I'll make a note to bring you a new blanket tomorrow; maybe the little grey one you love so much,"

The different pieces of Y/n's heart all seemed to have been in a hospital bed at one point in her life. Even her mother when she had her little sibling and her best friend when she broke her ankle. It sucked being back here and the situation only getting worse and worse.

She continued her desperate hold on the young man's still hand as she desperately fought the floods. Just looking at him made her sink too deep into her thoughts and brought her close to breaking.

"You'll be okay, Alex. I'll make sure of it- You're... you're all I have left... I'll make sure you make it through and-and I know you're a fighter and I'm fighting for you- for us..."

She stared at his still face and knew in her heart what she had yet to say out loud.

She loved him.

Y/n loved Alex.

Her future, her heart, her life... all him.

She couldn't see herself growing up and growing old with someone else. She wanted the future only she and Alex could create.

"We'll build a house... a nice, medium sized house, like my Tony Stark's cabin- that is, if our parents don't try to give us a house or something like that. We'll build our own and it'll have a beautiful yard and garden, a library, a gorgeous kitchen, and a pool and swing set for..."

In the years passed, Y/n knew what she wanted during her roaring 20's. Traveling, excitement, establishing her career and achieving her biggest life goals, possibly marriage - but definitely, no kids.

Even thinking about her 30's and beyond, she knew she was terrified to bring children into a world as terrible as this one. The one where family is constantly at risk and at any second you could end up in a hospital because an idiot decided to get drunk and behind a wheel.

She can't have kids.

She SHOULDN'T have kids.

She couldn't have kids.

But...

"I would... I would have them with you, Alex... If there's anyone who I KNOW would keep them safe and be an amazing father... it's you, Alex... I'd have kids with you... Not for a long time, though!" Y/n stifled the laugh by wiping the small tears that had escaped and moved onto the bed right next to Y/n's arm. She held his hand tighter, even though it was harder with the cast.

"We'll watch reruns on the couch, play pretend with them, maybe their favorite superhero will be Spiderman or Iron Man... And we'll get a cat for them to play with and teach them responsibility! We can name him Tony Bark or Captain Furrmerica because I know you love lame jokes like that,"

"But you gotta wake up for that, okay? You can take your time - I don't wanna rush the healing process - I just..."

Finally the bittersweet tears fell as giant heartbroken drops as she held his hand up closer to her face.

"I'll make the life we've always wanted just promise me... we'll say hello again..."

As if those words were magic, Y/n thought she had seen Alex start to stir and return her hand squeeze... but unfortunately, there may be magic in this world, but it is far from a fairytale.

She lightly pressed her lips to the cracked skin on his knuckles and then again to the healing wound on his head.

"I love you, Alex."

*****

note: i wanna be wanda for halloween