The Butterfly Necklace

In loving memory of louis paris

When I was a little girl I thought the word was about always having your way, boy was a wrong about that. I was 7 or 8 when you gave me your butterfly necklace your favorite animal was a dragonfly but you said that the butterfly was close enough,  when my mother got cleaned up for the first time she got a terrifying call from the hospital you had died and I miss you so much I always have my necklace that you have me close by  to remind myself to have hope,but I need more then hope now that your dead. Sometimes I say in my bed on my phone, all night long because I can't trust my thoughts alone in the back of my head it makes up a million reasons why, I wish I where dead  when my tears hit your beautiful necklace I can't help to break down you where the only one who made me feel truly safe until, my stepdad introduced me to his mother she reminded me of you and made me feel like i was her own granddaughter, but sadly good things come to an end. It was a Friday afternoon I was gonna get my ears pierced with my biological dad's earring  that where butterfly's but then I got a call from my stepdad with tears down my face and how shaken his voice was through the phone, she had died too I kept that inside because I don't want anyone to see me in the way I see myself. When I went home and it was dark I cried about you, and her what made the situation worse I Texted my grandmother "hey memaw I miss you, and hope you get better next time we come to visit we will stay there permanently for you. I'm looking forward to see you again" she never got to see it great grandmother, she was dead before she saw my note of hope, hope is a funny word they say you should have it where ever you go but whenever I have it bad things come my way, I don't understand it if that word is so good why do bad things come when I have it? I guess I'll never find out I still have your necklace and I wear it everywhere I go cause it makes me seem happy inside and makes me feel like your there by me to give myself courage and to keep pushing. But one day, in the spring when the butterfly's are out and the trees are bloomed and all you see are cherry weeping trees flowers falling and butterflies, that will be the day I will see u for the first time in 5 years the day I finally can be a peace a day where all the tears stress and hard work can finally be put to rest that day I can be with you and no one will tell me I can't. The tears shed and the cuts I had will all be worth it because I can return your lovey necklace and spend the the rest of forever in your arms. The day when you see everyone standing around a casket crying but known it was the best for me, the day my siblings can tell there kids I am a fighter and I'll work hard to protect them and there family from what I had to go through. I don't want them to feel the same pain I went through that day I will be gone, but the butterfly necklace will be the one thing people will remember me by that day, that butterfly,my life will be over but my heart will forever be alive and taking care of the ones I love.