Room 187

Just the start

“So tell me… how did this happen? How did you get to be here?” I hear this all the time and I never tell so this time I will.

It all started on September 10, 2013, my birthday. It should be a happy day with “HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!!’ from all of my friends, but that honestly didn’t happen. My mom forgot, my dad punched me in the face, and this girl jumped me. Great, right? So when I got home I tried getting a hold of Casper, but of course his mom flipping answers. She told me that Casper couldn’t come to the phone, because he was grounded, and until he gets his grade up in Chemistry, which is complete bull, he has an 88% in that class. So I explained to her that I really need him and she could send him over here I would greatly appreciate it. Then she flipped. She told me that if I called him again while he’s still grounded that she would not allow me over there again. This was the cherry on top of my day.

All my life I have had it like this. I get treated like shit but I don’t even talk to people. There are really only two people that don’t treat me like that, Casper and Savannah. Savannah is my sister, my parents love her, and she’s the most popular girl in school. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, ‘Your sister more popular than you? HA!’ I hear that all the time.  Casper on the other hand is just like me. His mom treats him like shit. I’ve witness it all the time. His mom hits him and calls him names. It hasn’t always been like that though. I’ve known him since I was five years old and his mom used to be so amazing. I would sneak over there when I was feeling sad or like when my parents sent me to bed without dinner. It was really good until Casper got into high school. Now he can’t even come out on weekends.

 So I did what I always did, went down to the kitchen and grabbed some ice cream, grabbed my laptop and a spoon, and ran up the stairs to my room. I opened my laptop logged on to Facebook just to check if anyone wished me a Happy Birthday. There was a message, I open it thinking that Casper was magically allowed to get on the computer and message me, but when I opened it all it said was: “I don’t like you Starr. I never really did, I just felt sorry for you, and I adopted you as a friend. In all honesty I really think you should just go kill yourself. No one would miss you, no one would even notice you’re gone. Savannah told me the other day that she doesn’t love you and she wanted me to write this to you that day. I for one wanted to wait until today, your birthday. Happy Birthday Starr. Now do everyone a favor and kill yourself.” This made me hop out of bed open my door run down the stairs, into the kitchen. I grabbed one of the biggest knife we had, ran back up the stairs, shut my door, went into my bathroom sat in the bathtub, and ran the knife all the way up my arm. I laid there and after a while things started going black. Finally I get to have a peaceful rest of my life. I was about to be safe, when my sister came home. ‘Frick’ I thought, ‘Why does she have to come home now?’ She walked into the bathroom clueless that I was in there, she looked in the mirror and admired herself for a second then turned around to find me in the tub avoiding eye contact. She screams bloody murder and runs out of the room sits on my bed balling. I try to get up to go see if she is okay, but I can’t seem to move. I tried yelling out to her but all I could feel was a darkness creeping further and further over me until, BAM, I was out. The next thing I know is that I’m waking up in the hospital. ‘How the hell did I get here?’ I think to myself. I look around the pitch black room and there my sister is sleeping with the most beautiful face I’ve seen. ‘Ok Starr you have to wake her up. Let’s do this and get it over with.’ I try to make a sound but I can’t, ‘Okay Starr a little louder’ I say to myself again. This time I make the tiniest noise and my sister jumps and looks around. She looks at me and right as she’s about to close her eyes again I wave my hands to get her attention.

She jumps out of her seat squealing and she hugs me then runs out of the room to go get what I assume to be help, but I was wrong, nope she went to go get who I thought was my best friend in the entire world. Casper looked at me and started balling his eyes out and I just look at Savannah trying to tell her to get him the frip out of my sight, but I guess she didn’t understand and that’s why she didn’t tell him to go. When Casper finally gathered himself all he could say was, “I’m so sorry Starr, I’m so sorry, and so, so sorry you have no idea. My mom got onto my Facebook and messaged you that I had nothing to do with her and that. I hope that you can one day you can forgive me. I can’t believe that she would do something that drastic. Like how in the world, I can’t even imagine how that message made you feel. I hope that I never have to see you almost die again. Starr I honestly love you and I don’t want to see you get hurt. I want to be there to protect you not hurt, Starr I really do love you and in the sappy love story way not the friend way. I’m so sorry. I disowned my mom when I heard what she had said to you and Savannah didn’t say she didn’t love you either she loves you and I love you and hopefully you can one day forgive me for I want to be with you eventually.”