I Don't Need Your Help || spn benny oneshot

i don't need you're help

a/n: i suggest you read the tw in the description before reading this, thanks.

Starting to become midday, Y/n popped open another beer bottle and sat on the floor. Staring at her pocketknife in her hand while taking a swig of beer.

Thoughts filled with different things. Family and friends, finally ready to off herself, deciding how many breakdowns she'll have today, and one thought that stands out: Benny.

Somehow, he can always save/help Y/n out of any situation. Mentally or physically. He's always there for her. However, this time, he wasn't aware of this.

Not leaving her room for the past four and a half days. Not for food/drinks, helping the Winchesters, or even the restroom.

Y/n hasn't ate anything ever since she started to lock herself in. Barely speaking. Placing sigils and wardings so Castiel or even Crowley could enter the room to talk her out of it.

Despite all that, having the pocketknife staring directly at her, the thoughts of suicide has slowly taking over her mind. Bit by bit.

However, caused by her actions, the Winchesters clearly noticed. At first they thought it was nothing serious, possibly some death of a friend. They didn't know.

But not coming out of her room a week, not answering the phone or messages, they knew something was certainly wrong. Sam and Dean tried talking to her through the locked door, still every time was no response.

Drink after drink, Y/n had mostly finished the bottle. She doesn't get drunk easily. Playing with her pocketknife, the blade continuously flipping in and out, she finally knew.

Days of thinking and realizing, Y/n decided its time for her to leave. To go for good. Forever.

Constant reminders of the bad words she's been called in her life time. Worthless, slut, a disappointment, a pig, fat, a fat pig, ugly, and of course stupid. All the normal stuff.

Flicking the blade out once more, she ran a finger over the blade slightly. Finshing the beer bottle up in one drink, setting it down besides her, she hesitated.

Benny. He didn't know, and Y/n wanted to keep it that way. She thought its best if he didn't know about it. Nevertheless, she always knew he never cared for her. Once.

Although that's a lie, and Benny cared way too for her, Y/n rolled up her sleeve to reveal her past scars. The blade lightly sitting on her wrists as she softly counts down from three.

This time... deeper cuts than normal. Longer cuts than normal. Hurting more than normal.

Tears. They formed in Y/n's eyes way too easily. She tries to fight back the tears, but of course they start falling down her face.

Cut after cut, desperate to die, she did more cuts on her wrists than usual. She was ready to go. However- there was a sudden knock.

"Go away!" Y/n screamed, not wanting to be interrupted.

"Y/n, darlin'? It's me." Benny's calm voice suddenly filled the silent sound.

Y/n stopped the cutting, lowering her hand with the blade. The feel of blood oozing down her arm and dripping on herself.

"How is he here? How does know? Why does he know?" Y/n mentally questioned, confused.

"Y/n, I'm alone. Would you please let me in and help you with what you're goin' through?"

Benny's not one to lie to Y/n, but she can't trust him from her thoughts. "I don't need your help anymore. Go away."

"You know I'm not leavin' here until you unlock this door. I don't care how long it takes," Benny took a calm approach. However, the line she said, 'I don't need your help' hurted.