6.18.18 ..

6.18.21

sorry if their are mistakes </3 June 18th 2021

                                                                 6.18.18

I'm crying </3 I've never met him before but it felt like I've known him forever. Even though I've never actually communicated with him face-to-face, I communicate with him through dreams, and through music. I feel his spirit, I feel his energy. He was really something I cant explain... I can't even explain my love for him, I don't know what love feels like, but I think this is love, HE made me feel love, he made me understand love...But we will meet one day.. In a different world, in a different body. I've never been so devastated about someones death... I've never cried so much until the day that he left us. Pain rushed in me, tears over flowing my eyes, I was shocked, I couldn't believe, I didn't want to believe. To be honest I didn't know about his death until a friend told me, after like a week since he passed.

Dear Jahseh,

I've always wanted to meet you, it feels like you are here with me right now, it feels like you are TRYING to talk to me, but I don't understand what you're trying to say...but its ok I have ur songs. They speak to me in a certain way .... A way I cant really explain. But all I know is that I feel your energy, I love you, I never been so devastated about someones death, you are so important to me, I cant even describe how I feel. Because of you I have a 'GEKYUME' mindset. You were the only one who truly understood me, because no one really understands me. No one understands how I feel, so why even try to get them to understand, you know? 

You've showed me something that I didn't understand, it feels like I've known you forever. I see you as someone close to me. I saw you like some type of guardian angel . Your songs made me feel a certain way I couldn't explain, I always thought you were trying to communicate with me through songs, your lyrics, speak a language some people don't even understand.. You were something different. I like different now everyone is the same... or TRYING to act or look like everybody else, but you made me realize I don't have to be like any other else, you have to embrace yourself, show everyone that your unique.

Jahseh, you have taught me so much, your music helped me a lot. Even though I had ups and downs on how I felt about you, I always loved you. You don't even know me, but it feels like I have a strong connection with you. I just want you to know that, I love you so much, you have shown me so much Jahseh. Thank you for keeping me alive. And thank you for giving me advice (to have a journal to write in it really helps). Having something to write in or type in, makes me feel so much better, it makes me feel like I'm actually talking to someone. You deserve the world Jah. You never deserved this, you were just trying to be a better person so people will look at you differently, since the Geneva thing made you look bad.. Ill always be on your side. You helped us fans, you never judged us on how we looked, you loved us as your own. I wish us fans was there to help, their is a whole lot of us, and your just one person... And we couldn't even do anything but get the devastating news..