Un Faux Pas

Un Faux Pas - Chapter 0 ~ Prologue

It was Wednesday evening.

A nerdy-looking young man of about twenty, with ruffled brown hair and a pair of dark rimmed glasses sat on a swivel chair. Nose buried in a book – either on chess or photography as most of his books were – feet propped on the writing desk. A few curiously-angled black and white photos were taped to the wall, along with a calendar with orderly check-marks on each passing days. Next to his feet, was an old camera, a reading lamp, an enormous text-book, a half-full cup of steaming hot chocolate and a telephone. Clutched in his right hand, was a package of a-quarter-eaten chocolate bar – which he was currently munching on.

He was reaching for the mug when he accidentally knocked the text-book. The bulky volume hit the floor with a 'thud' as a slip of paper fell out from one of the pages. He reached down for the book and caught a glance of his own handwritten note on the floating paper.

'TEST, THURSDAY 9 am.'

His eyes widened in horror as he took a quick look at the calendar. The first unchecked day was Thursday, tomorrow. He snatched the phone in a flash and was about to dial when he heard voices.

The phone was in use. He sighed heavily and put the receiver back.

Next, he counted to ten, and picked the phone again. Still engaged.

He was about to drop it when he heard a girl's voice that he recognized as his cousin's, having a rather interesting argument with another girl across the line.

"Renée! I. Was. NOT. Staring. At. His. Bloody. Ass!" it was the other girl's voice.

"Oh, yes, you were, Miss Ashford. Everybody could swear by that!" his cousin's.

The other girl sighed, "All right. Fine. Maybe I was. Just a bit."

"A ha! So?"

"So what? Well, he's cute all right, but for Chrissake... the bloke has the intelligence of a door knob!"

His cousin, Renée, laughed, "Can't get any less delicate, can you, Dee?"

The boy raised an eyebrow, stifled a laugh, and quietly put the receiver down.

*

It was Friday afternoon.

A phone in the hallway rang.

"I'll get it!" the messy-haired boy appeared from a door, heard no answer, and picked up the phone, "Hello."

"Hello, may I speak to Renée, please?"

The boy listened and recognized the voice of the girl from the other day, "Um, who's calling?"

"Tell her it's Dee."

*

It was Saturday night.

Renée, a slightly plump but attractive brunette, was lying on her stomach, on her bedroom floor, laughing and giggling with her best friend. Both girls were in their nighties.

The brown-haired boy was standing in front of the door which was left slightly ajar, listening.

"England's first black football player!"

"Viv Anderson, right fullback, NottinghamForest."

"Name the two merchants in 'The Merchant of Venice'?"

"Shylock and Antonio."

"Where does the DanubeRiver end?"

"The Black Sea. What else do you want to know?"

"When... was Alexander the Great born?"

"It's... it's... it's... Oh, bugger! 356 BC...!"

"When did the Roman Catholic finally put an end to Greek Philosophy?"

"Let me think... 529 AD, that's when they closed Plato's Academy, which was built in..."

"387 BC, I have that information, thank you. Who designed uniforms for Vatican's Swiss Guard?"

"Michelangelo, early 16th century. And they're still wearing it –timeless fashion indeed."

"Name of Elvis' mother?"

"Gladys."

"Is there anything you don't know?"

"Of course. Some things in life were meant to remain inexplicable."

"Really? Like what?"

"The relevancy between a man's shoe size and his..."

"Dee!"

"... thumb?"

The boy peered in to get a glimpse of his cousin's sharp-witted – and seemingly indomitable – know-it-all companion. A beautiful, dark-haired girl with deep icy green eyes that looked a bit lethal.

He stared dreamily for a few long minutes, grinning and blushing, before the girl yelled,

"Renée, there's someone behind the door!"

Then both girls began to scream, as the startled boy scampered away.

But not before he overheard Renée's "Don't worry, it's just my psycho cousin."

**********