A Place To Lay My Head

The First Death

 Ch1: The First Death

Satellite 5. It was down to me now. I was backed into a corner, Daleks coming right at me. I knew this was the end for me, but it was okay. I had become a better man than I had ever imagined. The Doctor and Rose had given me so much, I knew this was the right thing to do, the right way to die. If there was ever a right time or reason for those sorts of things, this was it. I accepted it, and then I was dead.

 And then I wasn’t.

My eyes had only been closed a moment, and yet the room around me had changed. The Daleks were gone, but they hadn’t simply left, this was a completely different place.

 I was in a great white room. Was this death? Was there an afterlife? I didn’t think too highly of the idea I could spend an undead eternity in a great white room. My eyes would hurt against the starch white, I would get bored, this was no way to die. But I wasn’t alone. There was someone else here. I stood up from my spot on the floor and walked over to him. He was sitting at a table; I don’t think it was even there before.  

“Hello?” I called out, my voice echoing. “This place has a lousy reception service, I’m going to file a complaint.”

 As I neared I noticed 2 mugs set out in front a man in a tight fit black pinstripe suit and purple tie.

 He looked up at me as I finally came to the seat beside him. I didn’t think that was there before either, things just kept seeming to materialize.

“Hello sir.” He said to me, looking up with big doe eyes that startled me. I struggled for a confident sounding greeting and settled on silence as I sat down.

 “Do I know you?” I asked him.

 He lowered his head, as if he was deep in thought.

“No, sir, but I know you. I am just here to help. Just think of me as a guide.” He said softly.

 “A guide for what? What is this, where am I?” I was becoming slightly irritated at the vagueness of the situation.

 “I am your guide for dying.”

 “Who are you.” It was harder now to keep the aggressive tone out of my voice, and I stood back up quickly, almost like a reflex to his words.

 “My name is Ianto, please don’t be alarmed. I just want to help. I’m sorry, but it’s hard to explain. It might be easier to show you.” The man said, worry crossing his face. He looked so concerned, it crushed me inside and I couldn’t stop myself from softening. Why did this man look so pained?

 “Focus on something, like this room. You hate it don’t you?” Ianto said, assuming my answer.

 “Yes it’s horrible, it’s white and bleachy and blinding. It does nothing for my complexion. Or yours for that matter.” I added.

 He grinned slightly at that.

 “Imagine it anyway you want it. What would your perfect version of this room look like?” he said.

 Before a fully formed thought could even come to my lips, the room changed before my eyes. Now the walls were paneled in light brown wood, the floors carpeted in beige and the chair under Ianto morphed into a red love seat beside a roaring fireplace.  The walls came closer together, creating the atmosphere of a cozy log cabin after a ski. It was as if the room had always looked this way, cozy and welcoming.

Ianto looked impressed and pleased with himself. “This is lovely Jack.”

 “How do you know my name? What is going on here?” I was still very alarmed but weirdly comforted that I had some level of control over my surroundings.

 “You’ve died Jack. This is just your first time, and what I am going to tell you next is going to upset you, but, this is not your last death.” He looked sad again, I wish I could take that look off his face, I wanted him to smile again.

 “Oh yes, of course. That sounds normal. The immortal man now am I?” I grinned broadly at the boy.

 “Basically yes, and I am so sorry.”

 “You’re serious about this? This is the story you want to stick with?”

 “I wouldn’t lie to you sir.” Ianto kept frowning, like it caused him actual physical pain to have to be saying these words.  “You will die, from time to time…and you will come here. While your body heals itself, I can keep you company, give your consciousness a place to rest…and then you will leave me.”

 “Leave you?”

“I mean, then you will leave this place. Your mind will leave here, but I will be here everytime you die, I will wait for you.”

 “Will I remember this?”  I asked.

“I was afraid you were going to ask me that.” He smiled, finally.

 “Well?”

 “No, sir.”

 “Okay, so I get a vacation between deaths with a figment of my imagination? Supposedly…assuming your story checks out.”

 “Yes, sir.” He continued grinning now, I liked this much better than him looking sad. I basically decide right away to make sure this boy doesn’t have to frown anymore.

 There’s a knocking on the ceiling. At least I think that’s where it came from, I don’t think there was ceiling there before.

 “That’s my cue. Sorry, sir, it’s time to go now.”

“But I still have a lot of questions, and I haven’t even touched my tea yet!” I said, pointing to the mugs beside Ianto, who had yet to move.

 “It’s alright sir, I’ll keep it warm for you.”

 He had a trusting face, but it felt like he was saying so much more with those few words.

 “Goodbye sir, I’ll wait for you here.” He nodded at me and I opened my mouth to speak and then –

x

I woke up with a start, grasping for air and looking around crazily, the Daleks were gone, and I had been shot, I was sure of it. What had happened? I had to find Rose, find the Doctor-quickly! I was running out of time!

I ran as quickly as I could but by the time I got to the top of Satellite 5, there was no sign of anyone including the Doctor and his TARDIS. I was alone.

I had never felt so confused before. Tired, I sat on panel and rubbed my temples. Something was wrong, something was out of place, and that was me. I was in the wrong year, on a strange satellite, and somehow had avoided being killed by Daleks. I looked down at my arm, my vortex manipulator. I could zap myself back….because I had been abandoned here…

It was time to restart and make a new life for myself on Earth….and first things first I would need to find one thing out for sure, how did I survive? What am I?