Goodbye... Love (The Letter)

Goodbye... Love

LADY POV✨

      Love,

          You would think from all the pain you caused me I would hate you, but I don't. I don't hate you at all because you hold a special place in my heart. There are days I hate myself for it because I allowed you to do me wrong. Many times people called me stupid for holding onto you when we both knew you weren't the right person for me we both knew you were only going to cause more heartbreak, but I wanted you.
In the beginning everything was perfect we were perfect, and you were perfect. I never loved someone as much as I loved you. You were my best friend, and the love of my life. You had a kind, loving heart, and you loved me. You couldn't wait for the future, our future. We wanted to live the rest of our lives together. We planned on starting our life journey. We planned on getting married and having kids. I can still picture the house we thought we were going to live in. We made so many plans for ourselves to only see them wash away.
As the days went on, you became selfish. You grew bitter toward me and ignored my feelings. You hurt me and continued to do so. What killed me was that you became someone I didn't recognize anymore. You weren't the same person I fell in love with, except you were I just didn't see the real you. Even after all the arguing and the pain you caused, I stayed.
I allowed you to break me into a million pieces. I allowed you to suck the life out of me until I lost my self-worth. At that time, I wish you were a better person and knew how special you were to me. If you could've seen yourself through my eyes you would've seen someone that I treasured. Maybe then you would've treated me better, but all you did was take me for granted.
You used my love for you to your advantage. You knew you could've caused any pain, and I was going to be there by your side. You knew I did and would've done anything for you, just so you can be happy. You left me in a dark place, questioning myself daily. What did I do wrong? Why did I deserve to be treated this way, and how could I change for you?
I thought if I stayed and fought hard enough for our relationship, it would get better. Turns out, it only caused more damage. You caused more damage. It amazes me. When I think about you, I think of all the pain you caused, and I want to hate you for it. Then, once I see you, all I want is for you to hold me in your arms. To call me yours again and pretend everything was like it used to be.
Although I can't let that happen because together we are damaged goods. Thank you for loving me (if you ever even did) from what love you had left in your cold heart. I wish you the best in life and to change for the better. Not only for yourself but for the next person you fall in love with. I still love you and always will. Goodbye..

                            Lady J