Did you know that the anus of a blue whale can stretch up to 1.2m wide? That's wide enough to crawl through! If you, a human I assume, were ever to find yourself wishing to crawl up the ass of a blue whale the only thing standing in your way is finding a whale looking for a hands-on colonoscopy. Of course there's always the option of taking a dive at it if the whale is unwilling. This however is not without it's dangers as one blow from that huge tail turns you into a pancake. You forever cosplay as bug splattered on windshield. Now if you're lucky and you hit your target on your first and only attempt there's the matter of the expedition. You'll need an oxygen tank; for the love of all things sacred do not let your mouthpiece fall out. A flashlight could be useful after all you're exploring where the sun doesn't shine. If your light is bright enough there is the possibility that your friends on the outside will be able to see how deep you are like some twisted PSA ad about colonoscopies. While I'm at it PSA: don't try this at home...you don't have a blue whale there (again I assume). Your journey will most likely be over quickly so all tourist attractions must be visited on a strict schedule. Exit plans are pretty straightforward from the moment you successfully launched yourself into that asshole...you little shit. The whale, now agitated by the surprise suppository, will be furiously trying to poop you out. This my, dear scholars, is how you achieve the obituary worthy of any Florida resident, "Crawled up a whales ass and died."
P.S. please ensure you're using a Blue whale as results may vary for other whales.
