Lillte Things

I am ME

I. Comparing (Parents)

Sometime I ask myself, was it worth it? Was it worth it that I live? Was it worth it that I put my everything on the line just for them to ignore it?

Heck, sometimes I even ask myself, 'Would my parents have a good and joyous life if I were to die?'.
I would actually think about it sometimes even tho my parents are supportive and push me to my limit. (This is basically about a friend of mine, again this book is about some things that I notice, that I can't help myself bit get curious)

So what if I didn't get the top spot, at least I got the second, you don't have to compare me to others just so you can shove it in my face that I didn't do good enough.

So what if their child is prettier or more handsome than me, do I care? Heck I don't even make an effort to look good in front of the others why would need to look good for someone who didn't even appreciate how hard I work.

I can't even rest because you expect me to be more productive than I am now.

I.a Comparing (Peers)

Some of my friends is the same.
They would say I am not pushing my all, because unlike me, this one is saying something like 'I would get higher grades than you' kinda thing so that someone is giving their all unlike me who is only sitting in one place and reading.
Dude that's why I'm reading so I can be prepared and advance in that way I can give my all.

Just because that is the way some people show how they give their all, it differs for every person. What you expect me to declare I would be number one, what happen after that? Huh? What happens if I don't became number one? Nothing, most likely I would be called having a large ego, declaring something that I  achieve.

II. Decision (Parents)

We can't actually avoid this one more people go through this than you actually think. Yes, parents have that authority to chosse the path that you will take so that you can have a better future.

But controlling everything is a different thing, saying what you have to do no matter what, attend this event because it's better then when you get back from the same event, they would be mad because you didn't go with them somewhere. Like wtf you told me to do this then you'd be mad because I didn't come with you guys to go somewhere...

Deciding what school you WILL go into, what course you'd take etc.

I thinks thats too much wouldn't it?

Heck if I have that kind of parents I would go ballistic. Its like striping your kids the chance to make a decision for their selves.

And that would lead into a more dangerous and most likely huge fight in the family. Yes it is the parents right to make the decision, but controlling everything about their lives is not healthy.

Telling them what type of sport they have to play wouldn't let them feel the happiness that they should have while playing, all they would feel is the obligatory to do the said sport because you said so.

Having your freedom strip from you at such a young age would lead you to a unstable life because you would have to return every nook and cranny in your life just to ask if the opinion you will choose will be good or bad.

You wouldn't have a trust in yourself rather you would be more on being lenient on following everything, regardless of your opinion on the matter, they told you to do so.

II.a. Decision (Peers)

Having freinds that is entitled and thinks that they get to control everything about your friendship is fucked up.

Like where did you get the nerve to tell me who to be friends with just because you don't think their pretty or their lame I can't be friends with them, mind you we're not even close.

Who gave you the right to dictate what I do in my free time, just because you like to go out a lot doesn't mean everyone does.

Don't put your own opinion in front of everyone just so we can do what you want.

Its not funny or easy to just tell that person straight up that their stuck up and a controlling freak without being swallowed by your conscience.

Instead of fighting the fear of that you would be judge by others you just let them have their way  in you so that nobody gets hurt in the end.

As a teen who experience this its downright bad and toxic, heck unlike me who have a backbone to confront them and tell them to back off, some teens or people doesn't have the strength or will to fight that person.

Because they think they don't have the right to do so.

So remember this just because their your friends that doesn't mean you can't give them reality check theres nothing wrong with having no friends at all. It is better than having fakes who just wants to control you.