Harry and His Admirers (crackfic)

The Candidates

Candidate #1

"Stupid Potter, always in the spotlight! Can't stop with his moth-to-the-light act with people around him! Being attention seeking is just so POTTAH. POTTAH, POTTAH, POTTAH, POTAHTOE POTATHOE PTHOCHOIE!"

Draco Malfoy is on it again. People stare, he glares.

"Hey, I think I saw Potter walking by," Pansy yawns.

Draco twisted his neck so quickly that he had almost transformed into the next Nearly Headless Nick.

"WHERE?" Draco boomed.

Pansy rolled her eyes, "And here you are denying that you aren't obsessed with Potter."

"I AM NOT!" Draco whisper shouted.

Pansy smirked, "Hmm... sure."

"I SWEAR I'M NOT!" Draco's face turned beet red, which he swears is from the anger boiling inside him. (Sure, Draco, sure.)

Draco aggressively scribbled more words on his now floor length parchment:

He. Is. As. Obnoxious. As. Ever.

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Candidate #2

"Hey Ginny!" Harry greeted her as he entered the Gryffindor common room.

She looked up from her Charms homework, "Hey! What's up?"

"Err... nothing much," Harry replied, "Quidditch practise tomorrow. See ya!"

"Ok, see you too," Ginny smiled.

She scratched her scalp with her quill, "Back to Charms... Where was I?"

She forgot what her Charms paper was about, "Damn it Harry!"

Harry and his fresh pickled toad green eyes, with hair as dark as blackboard...

Merlin! She then proceeds to scream into her parchment.

"I wish he was mine, he's really divine"

The poem she made during her first year rang loudly in her head. She wanted to jump off the astronomy tower. What was she thinking? That was embarrassing!

>>>>>¤<<<<<

Candidate #3

The clinking of boots could be heard on the cold, expensive, marble floor.

Click, clack, click, clack.

Like a metronome, steady and repetitive.

The sound of steps stopped with a thud. The figure had kneeled and bowed for her Lord.

"My Lord," She greeted.

The room was so quiet that the shallow breath of her Lord could be heard. He had always been a loud breather. (No, he does not have asthma or any breathing problems.) Bellatrix is lowkey convinced that it was for the dramatics.

The breathing stopped, "Ah, Bellatrix. Welcome."

Bellatrix kept her head bowed down.

Voldemort hummed in satisfaction, "You may rise."

"Thank you, my Lord," Bellatrix smiled.

Voldemort does not pay her a second glance, "Report."

Bellatrix sighed, unrolling a floor length parchment, ready for a long report.

"Harry Potter arrived at the Great Hall later than most students in the mornings. He enjoys being late because he is an obnoxious attention seeking Gryffindor. He always have a treacle tart or ten with his meals. He loves glaring at the Slytherins for no reason. He then go to his first class with his two other Gryffindork friends. All he does in class is look out the window with those annoyingly green pair of eyes. When the teachers explains, he does nothing but sit prettily there..." Bellatrix continued to ramble the report sent by her nephew, Draco.

After what seems like an eternity Bellatrix came to an end, "That was it, My Lord."

"..."

"My Lord?"

"......"

"Then, I will get going-"

"Bellatrix, tell Draco Malfoy that I do not like how he is describing Harry Potter," Voldy spat venomously.

Bellatrix stood there, shocked, "Most definitely, my Lord."

"Dismissed."

>>>>>¤<<<<<

Note ig?:

If someone actually read this by chance, bless your poor soul. I dunno what was going on in my mind while writing this in the middle of the night.